Write a speech of 150 words, pretending as though you are the worst possible candidate to give your class's graduation speech. It is due at the end of the period.
You know, I knew the day was coming, I’d even been looking forward to it, but now that it was finally here, it seemed very surreal. I graduated. I was done with high school. I think what was really strange to me wasn’t that it was over, or that I was starting a new chapter in my life, but that I wasn’t going to see most of these people anymore. I looked around me and watched everyone hugging and taking pictures. I grew up with these people. I’d known most of them since I was five years old, and I’d seen them almost every day of my life, and now we were all going off in different directions. There were people here that I’d never see again. Months ago I was dying to get away from these kids, and now I’m horrified at the thought of leaving them. As I looked around I knew I was already beginning to miss it all, and I knew I’d do anything to go back to that very first day and do it all over.
My fellow students; the proud faculty of this great academic institutions. The time has come for all of us in the class of 2014 to finally get the hell out of this horrible place. Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true. I think I can speak for all of my classmates when I say that I have learned nothing in the past four years, and it’s nobody’s fault but—(pause) you all (points at teachers, who look disgusted.). Yeah, that’s right. Be offended. I bet now you wish you let me leave and sleep when I wanted to, and say whatever whenever. Don’t you know that’s infringement on my freedom of speech? God. Some might say that it’s a miracle that I’ve gotten this far. But I say that the miracle is that these dumb teachers have gotten this far. Seriously, how long could it have possibly taken for you to realize that I just don’t care? I should have a right to be lazy if I want to. Because obviously, I’ve always been smarter than everyone in this school, so the rules don’t apply to me. Don’t you get it by now? You’ll all be sorry when I get rich and famous the Kardashian way: by doing nothing. You’ll see. You’ll all see!
Hello my fellow classmates, I hate all of you. I’m quite happy that I won’t see any of your faces anymore. You guys made school even worse than hell, if that’s possible. Please stop looking at me and look at the ground. I can’t stand the sight of you guys. I can gradually feel my face melting thanks to your ugliness. Give yourselves a round of applause for being the ugliest people alive. These four years felt like twenty years. You guys didn’t help whatsoever. I swear the majority of you have the IQ of a five year old, and with that I’m still giving you credit. Now for all you girls that think you are all that. PLEASE STOP! All you can say is “YASSSS! OMG!” Please stop all I want to say when you’re in a fight is “YASSS! RIP OFF HER WEAVE!” Oh, for all you kiss ups there are many things I want to say but my mother is out here watching me. Shoutout to my mom. I love you. Everyone follow her on Twitter and on Instagram. I would like everyone to give a round of applause to those who helped out in school. The only reason I like you is because you let me copy off of your homework and tests. Now that high school is over I want to tell you that I don’t like you. Please don’t catch any feelings and step off. Now one last thing when I say “Hate” you say “You.” Now for the people that don’t understand what I’m trying to say. I’m trying to say that I hate you. Thanks for nothing. Wait before I leave, let me take out my phone. Okay, now look at me and smile. Alright let me post this on Instagram: “I hate all of these people. They did nothing for me. #hate you #high school was a joke #I’m out” Once again I hate all of you.
Damian’s eyes fluttered open to a night sky eclipsed by the mutilated one eyed face of the Syndicate leader looking down at him. “Morning, sunshine.” Damian flailed with fear and rolled to his left off of the blanket he’d been lying on, quickly finding that attempting to stand wasn’t a good idea as he hit the ground. He didn’t know which part of his body to hold; head, arm, legs, torso, literally everything either stung or ached. Isaac walked up to him and, to Damian’s surprise extended his hand. “Get up, I’m a friend.” Damian hesitated, but decided to assess the situation first and took Isaac’s hand. He pulled him to his feet and walked him over to a campsite a few yards away, complete with three tents, a campfire, and a makeshift spit with a pig on it. Turning the spit was none other than the traitorous Private, Gavin.
First of all I got to say wow I cannot believe that it has taken me six long years to finally graduate high school. It has been a rough time for me and I would just like to thank Google and Wikipedia for giving me all the answers to my homework. I was so thankful to be surrounded by smart kids so I could copy them that are the only way that I passed, honestly. Without the help of my friends I wouldn’t be here. I am so happy to be done with all of those unnecessary classes like how are they going to help me in life, they aren’t. Now that I have graduated my parents will finally be proud of me. I am also so happy that I will never have to see any of these dumb teachers ever again, they just never got me, and they always yelled at me for saying bad words but they can’t stop me now. I got suspended so many times for that is was like one whole year of school, oh well I’m finally done with all you stupid people that did not believe in me. When I get famous y’all will remember my name. I’m out.
Yo, what’s up people? First thing I gotta say is that y’all thought I wouldn’t make it, this is especially for the teachers. Y’all got me in trouble for no reason, but look at me now, giving this speech. Ima keep it clean, can’t be disrespectful while my grandmamma here watching me. To be honest, there were times I thought I wouldn’t make it, but y’all some funny peeps, keeping me laughing and lifting my spirit when I need it. In reality, I gotta thank some of you teachers that really put it down for me when I needed y’all, you know who you are. High school ain’t nuttin guys, we out here now. We alone in the hood, it’s time to step your game up. It’s time to do big boy things with the big boy toys. I’m glad we’re getting out of this place, so congrats to us for making it through so many years of spending our days in this jail with those horrible “teachers”. Y’all can’t tell me nuttin no mo’. Hit me up if you my bro and if we ain’t I probably don’t even know you and won’t miss you. Good luck, cuz y’all need it and watch out for my mix tape coming out soon. Love y’all bros, class of 2014!
Class of 2015, I enjoyed my time with you guys. I will cherish the moments we have had throughout our time in DHS. From the times where I pulled pranks on the teachers, to the times where I put fake bugs in the principal’s lunch. I’m pretty sure Harvard wouldn’t mind me doing that, I mean besides who doesn’t like a little laugh once in a while? As I present this speech, I reminisce on all the times I got suspended for doing nothing at all. My grades were good; I kept them at a C average. Maybe when I go to college I’ll attempt to put more effort into my work and be more serious. I know everyone will miss me throwing the freshman’s in the lockers on freshman Friday. Well, I have to get back to eating my snack while the rest of the graduates present their speeches. Bye!
Well it seems to have reached that time in our lives class of 2016. We are about to be out. Oh yeah I almost forgot to welcome everyone and introduce people. Well I mean welcome, this is graduation, I’m pretty sure most of you are familiar with it, I mean until you never made it that far in life, but that’s beside the point. And as for these older looking people, they are teachers and what not, they aren’t that important. This is our day, we are graduating, not them so it’s all good that I don’t waste time on introducing them. I’m actually hoping this graduation could be extremely quick. I want to get out of here and just start the partying. We all have been trapped in school for years. So let’s get this going and have it be nice and quick. It’s been real with all these people. Growing up with them was a real experience, I mean I can’t stand about half of them but for the few I do like it was real. Well yeah I don’t really have anything else to say, I didn’t care to really take time and write this, I’m just going with whatever. But that’s ok, its better this way, I doubt you guys wanted to sit here and listen to be ramble off about irrelevant things. I’m saving your time in the long run, I’m just trying to make it quick, and it’s too hot to be out here. So yeah that’s all, I wish us all the best in our lives; some of us will really need it.
Congratulations guys! You did it, you graduated high school! It’s too bad I didn’t. Koop wouldn’t just give me that final grade to let me pass, but that’s ok, I’ll pass his class next year. No worries! Anyway when I was asked to write this, I received a letter in the mail. The first sentence of this letter read “you have been chosen to write and deliver a speech at this year’s graduation!” and I was like “yay.” The first thing I did was Google it. Graduation speeches that is, I didn’t really know what the letter was asking me to do. Oh wait, actually first I had to finish plagiarizing my English Term Paper- oh I guess I shouldn’t have said that. Anyway after I read about graduation speeches, well actually my mom read it all to me because there were a lot of big words. The main tip on how to make a good graduation speech was to reminisce on all the great times we had since kindergarten. I quickly realized I could not really do that since I have been going here since last May. So now I am going to pass this speech off to the real valedictorian, Julian Kupperman, he wrote a backup speech just in case this Graduation Speech Lottery did not work out. Peace out Class of 2014!
Ayeee! It has been a long freaking way! I am so excited to see what will be of all of us. I wonder what’s gonna be of our lazy behinds…actually, I ain’t worried about nuttin. I’m not gonna lie and pretend I wish all of ya’ll the best, that would just be straight up fake. Some of you guys are probably going to end up being rich or something—ya’ll better hit me up! Well to be honest, I don’t know why I am so excited to graduate. I mean, who are we kidding? Most of us ain’t do crap in highschool…couldn’t even do homework. It’s about to get real out there though, we better get it together. I guess I’m just tired of seeing the same people every single day. I’m not gonna lie—Ima miss ya’ll ugly behinds. Some of ya was funny as heck. To those that i don’t know, hope ya get known cause shoot, ya’ll gotta leave your mark up in this. I’m thankful for our faculty though, because I mean some of ya gave great advice and actually cared about our class, but for those who didn’t… WEOUTCHEA! It’s been so real my peopleeee, so turn down for what?!
“Good afternoon to all my fellow classmates and teachers. I don’t really know how to start this. I’m just glad I’m done with this high school. Throughout my five years here I’ve gotten in trouble and failed classes but hey at least I’m here now graduating. I’m sure a lot of students are going to miss high school and miss all the times ive entertained them in class rooms. I’m not going to miss anyone or anything about high school. Id like to say haha to all the teachers that thought I wouldn’t make it. you all suck. Now I can kick back and watch TV all day. I’m not going to lie; I’ll probably miss my cooking teacher because I’ve always thought he was hot. I don’t think I’ve learned one thing in this terrible place. Im so happy I am finally done. One thing I did like about school though is watching all the fights and starting trouble with teachers. I don’t really have anything else to say so I guess I’m done. I hope you liked my speech. I tried hard on it. I’m out”
“Classmates, my fellow friends of the last four years; our journey here is over, but our lives have only just begun. Who would have thought we’d all make it this far together, I mean, C’mon! We learned close to nothing these past few years. To the teachers as a whole, you suck. Oh great, I can graph a polynomial, but how the hell do you expect me to write a check, or buy a house, or pay my taxes when the time comes?! You’ve taught us absolutely nothing useful, so, thanks for nothing! Now that were finally out of this place, maybe we’ll actually be able to prosper and grow, on our own terms and without the restrictions you all placed upon us during our time. The only thing I’ll remember from my time here is the friendships I’ve made, while our teachers were busy rambling and ranting about pointless crap. So thanks for that, at least something good came out of this. Jaime, out.” *crowd surfs awaaaaaaaaaay.*
Well, hello everybody. It’s a pleasure to finally be seeing you with clear eyes. You’re all usually purple or doing some really weird things. But here we are all together and such…yea. I guess I should start talking about our futures and how anything is possible for us now. I would say that but I don’t want to lie. I know that some of you will end up living with your parents well into your forties and you know who I am talking about. I will say that the future is bright for me, I am getting clean and I’m going to do something important with all this money I’ve worked for…no promises though. Now, for those shoutouts I’m being forced to do. I have to thank the people that helped us along the way but who is that? It’s us! We are the ones with those study groups and we are the ones who passed on the answers during test time. High school is nearly impossible but hey at least we got through it. Maybe, just maybe, now you guys can actually be as important as you pretend to be.
It’s finally here, graduation day is upon us and I cannot be happier. This school is horrible; I hate being here, and most of the people I can’t stand. I honestly don’t care about this right now, I’m just happy to be leaving. This school taught me nothing I need in life, but thanks for teaching me where every river is in Africa its really going to help me. I’m thrilled to be saying goodbye to every one of you for the last time; I can’t wait to not see your faces every day, I can’t stand seeing you people. Most of you don’t even care what I’m saying right now, and honestly I don’t really care about any of you. These have been the longest four years of my life and I couldn’t be happier that they are over. Good luck to everyone in life even though I don’t really care about you because most of you won’t do anything with your life, but good luck anyway.
To my fellow classmates and the graduation class of 2015, While I stand up here and look at all the smiles on your faces and the tears going down your faces, I can’t help but laugh because we all know that high school sucked. It was the worst four years of our lives. Like come on guys, we all know this. Like I really do hate half of you guys. I honestly have like two friends and it’s your guys fault. Nobody wanted to see how awesome I was. How can you guys sit here and have a fake smile on your faces? Oh wait. I know what the smiles are for, it’s because we hate it here and we can’t wait to leave this place. High school was like prison. Teachers always nagging at you and they won’t leave you alone. Yeah teachers, you guys! You guys are so annoying and I think everyone here can agree. Thanks for teaching us how to raise a family and buy a house and stuff that is actually useful in life. Oh wait. That’s right. You didn’t. With that said, I can’t wait to leave here because I never get to see your ugly faces again except for my two friends. Honestly, the two friends that I have aren’t even in this grade, so I hate all of you equally (smile on my face). Hey you (points to the kid in the front) why do you have tears going down your face? Are they tears of joy? Cause honestly, you should be crying tears of joy cause were getting out of here! So to my fellow classmates, I just want to guys to remember this one thing, I HATE ALL OF YOU GUYS AND I CANT STAND TO LOOK AT YOU GUYS! So this is my goodbye, forever. It’s been real.
Hello Class of 2015, We have made it a very long way. I can say truthfully I have memories involving all of you, some better than others. There were good times and bad times. Oh yeah there were some seriously bad times, but right now I want to reflect on the fact that we all have the choice to never see each other’s faces again. Like you (points out random student) I don’t have to see your ugly ass everyday anymore. Oh and you over there with the highlights I don’t have to hear your high pitched voice at 7:40 in the morning. But seriously you should get that checked out it sounds like a dying cat is crying every time you open your mouth. Now for the faculty, oh yes the glorious faculty of the wonderful school. I will miss all of you and (bursts out laughing) I’m so sorry, but I can’t lie to you guys. Some of you I learned absolutely nothing from. Like seriously go back to school or something (looks over at principle) seriously who are you hiring here? What do they have to show up with a piece of paper that says teaching degree written across it with crayon to be hired? Now for the other teachers, YA’LL ARE WASSUP ON SOME FOR REAL ISH THOUGH! THANKS FOR TEACHING ME SOME SERIOUS STUFF LIKE HOW TO READ AND THAT WAR WITH THE NAZIS! YO THAT WAS CRAZY! And now for the part where I say special crap about certain people. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I REALLY hate you! You can go fall into a hole! We’re cool! And go get hit by a bus! Where’s that person who was runner up for valedictorian? (Person raises their hand) Aye there you are. I just have one question for you. (Dramatic pause) YOU MAD OR NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Anyways I’m gonna blow this popsicle stand and I better not see none of ya’ll dumbies again! I’m outchea!
The Worst Graduation speech Well hello class of 2014 or as we say it in Texas Howdy my fellow partners. We are all gathered here to celebrate the time we have shared in the years we have spent together in a school district that just really doesn’t give a crap about anyone but their paychecks. I’m sorry but “No child left behind” is nothing but lies, as you can see all around me there are my classmates sitting in the stands yards away from the actual ceremony. Sitting there wishing they were also graduating and getting out of this so called hell hole of a school. But no instead of taking the time to help them succeed y’all sat around and hosted parties for the teachers, wasted school funds on new macs for the teachers and left nothing for the struggling students that actually wanted to make something of themselves. I wonder what the state would like to say if they heard what was actually going on in the classrooms. Oh? They just heard everything on live television? My bad. Well now that everyone knows how much I despise this school and all the teachers in it lets celebrate, celebrate that we’re finally getting out of here. Cheers to new beginnings and hopefully for the underclassmen, new teachers will be hired because we all know they are not needed.
I’d like to start off this speech by giving a shout out to all the teachers that spent all this time teaching us irrelevance. Thanks for teaching how to solve for “X” but not the basics of real life when it comes to buying a house and things like that. When we ask our parents for money, they will sometimes say no and come with the “money doesn’t grow on trees” speech or “it’s not easy.” Well, why isn’t it easy? Throughout these four years of high school, we were so busy learning what y=mx+b is, that I think most of us feel like they left out so many more life skills that were needed. Thanks for always pushing us to go to college, but how do we go about paying it? What about scholarships? I'm glad I'm leaving this lame school. It is now 2016, been here since 2012 and I don’t have the slightest clue of what I’m going to do with my life. We are all here gathered to thank all faculties for these four years and finally get this diploma. Most of will be heading to Wildwood later on today. I don’t know much of what I’ll be doing next month but THANK GOODNESS I know how to find the distance of a shape. Bye guys!!! See you in 2kNever <3
Yo yo yo. What is good my homies? Today is my big day. Not yours… okay maybe but I feel like mine is better I have been in this High School for the longest four years of my life. I know I could have tried harder, but I did not and I am still here on this stage with the rest of you people that tried 20 times harder than me. What I did try hard on was to bring a fresh pair of shoes every single day. Rocking out with J’s since the start and I ain’t stopping now. (Lifts up his gown) Look at these fresh J’s I got. I worked hard for these I camped out of foot locker all night for these. Ya are jealous, but whatever I am out talk with ya’ll later.
Good afternoon fellow classmates, teachers…blah blah blah. Who really cares about all the boring introductory nonsense that we are forced to hear every single year. It’s hot, we are all sweaty, hungry, and I’m sure most of us just want to get over with this to go to project graduation and afterwards turn up forreal. I guess this would be the part in which I thank the teachers for teaching us a bunch of useless information that we will probably never use again in life and especially for torturing us with loads of work that they would then complain about grading. Also a special thanks to the marvelous super intendant and all the other lovely member of the Board of Ed for rejecting all of our ideas for fundraisers, clubs and activities. And now a shoutout to my classmates; to half of you who I don’t even like and to the other half that made these past four years bearable. Keep it real Class of 2014!
We all sit here and think damn this is the end of high school but aye maybe it’s not over maybe this is the beginning I guarantee great things are to come. Now we all know most of us got here from copying but others actually put in more than 100%, so I have to give credit to where it is due. Most kids would get up here and say thank you to all of the teachers, but we all know there’s a few teachers out there that is not our favorite so we need to shout out to all of the teachers that was liked by most students. I look back and see all of the proud moms and guardians looking from their seats thinking “I’m so proud” so I want to give a shout out to all of the guardians that believed in there kids and knew that something like this was going to happen, I want to let everyone know that we are all basically family and we all need to keep in touch everyone keep your head up I’m out.
Soooo um I’m not really prepared so I’m gonna wing this. Um I guess I’m supposed to talk about how many great times I’ve had but the truth is high school sucks. Yeah I like seeing my friends and joking around with them but I didn’t like anything else. School is a prison for the mind. It’s the same thing day after day, I want adventure, I want something new. We learn a topic, study for it, test on it, and then forget about it. We go through all of this just to get a good grade so some dumb college will accept us and so our parents will be proud. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to go to college guys. Most of you will probably drop out. Why not have fun and chill? Nooo but you guys want to work for the rest of your life, whatever I don’t care anyways. I love ma peeps but the rest ya’ll suck. Goodbye and have a happy life, I’m out.
You know, I knew the day was coming, I’d even been looking forward to it, but now that it was finally here, it seemed very surreal. I graduated. I was done with high school.
ReplyDeleteI think what was really strange to me wasn’t that it was over, or that I was starting a new chapter in my life, but that I wasn’t going to see most of these people anymore. I looked around me and watched everyone hugging and taking pictures. I grew up with these people. I’d known most of them since I was five years old, and I’d seen them almost every day of my life, and now we were all going off in different directions. There were people here that I’d never see again.
Months ago I was dying to get away from these kids, and now I’m horrified at the thought of leaving them. As I looked around I knew I was already beginning to miss it all, and I knew I’d do anything to go back to that very first day and do it all over.
My fellow students; the proud faculty of this great academic institutions. The time has come for all of us in the class of 2014 to finally get the hell out of this horrible place. Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true. I think I can speak for all of my classmates when I say that I have learned nothing in the past four years, and it’s nobody’s fault but—(pause) you all (points at teachers, who look disgusted.). Yeah, that’s right. Be offended. I bet now you wish you let me leave and sleep when I wanted to, and say whatever whenever. Don’t you know that’s infringement on my freedom of speech? God. Some might say that it’s a miracle that I’ve gotten this far. But I say that the miracle is that these dumb teachers have gotten this far. Seriously, how long could it have possibly taken for you to realize that I just don’t care? I should have a right to be lazy if I want to. Because obviously, I’ve always been smarter than everyone in this school, so the rules don’t apply to me. Don’t you get it by now? You’ll all be sorry when I get rich and famous the Kardashian way: by doing nothing. You’ll see. You’ll all see!
ReplyDeleteHello my fellow classmates,
ReplyDeleteI hate all of you. I’m quite happy that I won’t see any of your faces anymore. You guys made school even worse than hell, if that’s possible. Please stop looking at me and look at the ground. I can’t stand the sight of you guys. I can gradually feel my face melting thanks to your ugliness. Give yourselves a round of applause for being the ugliest people alive. These four years felt like twenty years. You guys didn’t help whatsoever. I swear the majority of you have the IQ of a five year old, and with that I’m still giving you credit. Now for all you girls that think you are all that. PLEASE STOP! All you can say is “YASSSS! OMG!” Please stop all I want to say when you’re in a fight is “YASSS! RIP OFF HER WEAVE!” Oh, for all you kiss ups there are many things I want to say but my mother is out here watching me. Shoutout to my mom. I love you. Everyone follow her on Twitter and on Instagram. I would like everyone to give a round of applause to those who helped out in school. The only reason I like you is because you let me copy off of your homework and tests. Now that high school is over I want to tell you that I don’t like you. Please don’t catch any feelings and step off. Now one last thing when I say “Hate” you say “You.” Now for the people that don’t understand what I’m trying to say. I’m trying to say that I hate you. Thanks for nothing. Wait before I leave, let me take out my phone. Okay, now look at me and smile. Alright let me post this on Instagram: “I hate all of these people. They did nothing for me. #hate you #high school was a joke #I’m out” Once again I hate all of you.
Damian’s eyes fluttered open to a night sky eclipsed by the mutilated one eyed face of the Syndicate leader looking down at him.
ReplyDelete“Morning, sunshine.”
Damian flailed with fear and rolled to his left off of the blanket he’d been lying on, quickly finding that attempting to stand wasn’t a good idea as he hit the ground. He didn’t know which part of his body to hold; head, arm, legs, torso, literally everything either stung or ached. Isaac walked up to him and, to Damian’s surprise extended his hand.
“Get up, I’m a friend.”
Damian hesitated, but decided to assess the situation first and took Isaac’s hand. He pulled him to his feet and walked him over to a campsite a few yards away, complete with three tents, a campfire, and a makeshift spit with a pig on it. Turning the spit was none other than the traitorous Private, Gavin.
First of all I got to say wow I cannot believe that it has taken me six long years to finally graduate high school. It has been a rough time for me and I would just like to thank Google and Wikipedia for giving me all the answers to my homework. I was so thankful to be surrounded by smart kids so I could copy them that are the only way that I passed, honestly. Without the help of my friends I wouldn’t be here. I am so happy to be done with all of those unnecessary classes like how are they going to help me in life, they aren’t. Now that I have graduated my parents will finally be proud of me. I am also so happy that I will never have to see any of these dumb teachers ever again, they just never got me, and they always yelled at me for saying bad words but they can’t stop me now. I got suspended so many times for that is was like one whole year of school, oh well I’m finally done with all you stupid people that did not believe in me. When I get famous y’all will remember my name. I’m out.
ReplyDeleteYo, what’s up people? First thing I gotta say is that y’all thought I wouldn’t make it, this is especially for the teachers. Y’all got me in trouble for no reason, but look at me now, giving this speech. Ima keep it clean, can’t be disrespectful while my grandmamma here watching me. To be honest, there were times I thought I wouldn’t make it, but y’all some funny peeps, keeping me laughing and lifting my spirit when I need it. In reality, I gotta thank some of you teachers that really put it down for me when I needed y’all, you know who you are. High school ain’t nuttin guys, we out here now. We alone in the hood, it’s time to step your game up. It’s time to do big boy things with the big boy toys. I’m glad we’re getting out of this place, so congrats to us for making it through so many years of spending our days in this jail with those horrible “teachers”. Y’all can’t tell me nuttin no mo’. Hit me up if you my bro and if we ain’t I probably don’t even know you and won’t miss you. Good luck, cuz y’all need it and watch out for my mix tape coming out soon. Love y’all bros, class of 2014!
ReplyDeleteClass of 2015, I enjoyed my time with you guys. I will cherish the moments we have had throughout our time in DHS. From the times where I pulled pranks on the teachers, to the times where I put fake bugs in the principal’s lunch. I’m pretty sure Harvard wouldn’t mind me doing that, I mean besides who doesn’t like a little laugh once in a while? As I present this speech, I reminisce on all the times I got suspended for doing nothing at all. My grades were good; I kept them at a C average. Maybe when I go to college I’ll attempt to put more effort into my work and be more serious. I know everyone will miss me throwing the freshman’s in the lockers on freshman Friday. Well, I have to get back to eating my snack while the rest of the graduates present their speeches. Bye!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWell it seems to have reached that time in our lives class of 2016. We are about to be out. Oh yeah I almost forgot to welcome everyone and introduce people. Well I mean welcome, this is graduation, I’m pretty sure most of you are familiar with it, I mean until you never made it that far in life, but that’s beside the point. And as for these older looking people, they are teachers and what not, they aren’t that important. This is our day, we are graduating, not them so it’s all good that I don’t waste time on introducing them. I’m actually hoping this graduation could be extremely quick. I want to get out of here and just start the partying. We all have been trapped in school for years. So let’s get this going and have it be nice and quick. It’s been real with all these people. Growing up with them was a real experience, I mean I can’t stand about half of them but for the few I do like it was real. Well yeah I don’t really have anything else to say, I didn’t care to really take time and write this, I’m just going with whatever. But that’s ok, its better this way, I doubt you guys wanted to sit here and listen to be ramble off about irrelevant things. I’m saving your time in the long run, I’m just trying to make it quick, and it’s too hot to be out here. So yeah that’s all, I wish us all the best in our lives; some of us will really need it.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations guys! You did it, you graduated high school! It’s too bad I didn’t. Koop wouldn’t just give me that final grade to let me pass, but that’s ok, I’ll pass his class next year. No worries! Anyway when I was asked to write this, I received a letter in the mail. The first sentence of this letter read “you have been chosen to write and deliver a speech at this year’s graduation!” and I was like “yay.” The first thing I did was Google it. Graduation speeches that is, I didn’t really know what the letter was asking me to do. Oh wait, actually first I had to finish plagiarizing my English Term Paper- oh I guess I shouldn’t have said that. Anyway after I read about graduation speeches, well actually my mom read it all to me because there were a lot of big words. The main tip on how to make a good graduation speech was to reminisce on all the great times we had since kindergarten. I quickly realized I could not really do that since I have been going here since last May. So now I am going to pass this speech off to the real valedictorian, Julian Kupperman, he wrote a backup speech just in case this Graduation Speech Lottery did not work out. Peace out Class of 2014!
ReplyDeleteAyeee! It has been a long freaking way! I am so excited to see what will be of all of us. I wonder what’s gonna be of our lazy behinds…actually, I ain’t worried about nuttin. I’m not gonna lie and pretend I wish all of ya’ll the best, that would just be straight up fake. Some of you guys are probably going to end up being rich or something—ya’ll better hit me up! Well to be honest, I don’t know why I am so excited to graduate. I mean, who are we kidding? Most of us ain’t do crap in highschool…couldn’t even do homework. It’s about to get real out there though, we better get it together. I guess I’m just tired of seeing the same people every single day. I’m not gonna lie—Ima miss ya’ll ugly behinds. Some of ya was funny as heck. To those that i don’t know, hope ya get known cause shoot, ya’ll gotta leave your mark up in this. I’m thankful for our faculty though, because I mean some of ya gave great advice and actually cared about our class, but for those who didn’t… WEOUTCHEA! It’s been so real my peopleeee, so turn down for what?!
ReplyDelete“Good afternoon to all my fellow classmates and teachers. I don’t really know how to start this. I’m just glad I’m done with this high school. Throughout my five years here I’ve gotten in trouble and failed classes but hey at least I’m here now graduating. I’m sure a lot of students are going to miss high school and miss all the times ive entertained them in class rooms. I’m not going to miss anyone or anything about high school. Id like to say haha to all the teachers that thought I wouldn’t make it. you all suck. Now I can kick back and watch TV all day. I’m not going to lie; I’ll probably miss my cooking teacher because I’ve always thought he was hot. I don’t think I’ve learned one thing in this terrible place. Im so happy I am finally done. One thing I did like about school though is watching all the fights and starting trouble with teachers. I don’t really have anything else to say so I guess I’m done. I hope you liked my speech. I tried hard on it. I’m out”
ReplyDelete“Classmates, my fellow friends of the last four years; our journey here is over, but our lives have only just begun. Who would have thought we’d all make it this far together, I mean, C’mon! We learned close to nothing these past few years. To the teachers as a whole, you suck. Oh great, I can graph a polynomial, but how the hell do you expect me to write a check, or buy a house, or pay my taxes when the time comes?! You’ve taught us absolutely nothing useful, so, thanks for nothing! Now that were finally out of this place, maybe we’ll actually be able to prosper and grow, on our own terms and without the restrictions you all placed upon us during our time. The only thing I’ll remember from my time here is the friendships I’ve made, while our teachers were busy rambling and ranting about pointless crap. So thanks for that, at least something good came out of this. Jaime, out.” *crowd surfs awaaaaaaaaaay.*
ReplyDeleteWell, hello everybody. It’s a pleasure to finally be seeing you with clear eyes. You’re all usually purple or doing some really weird things. But here we are all together and such…yea. I guess I should start talking about our futures and how anything is possible for us now. I would say that but I don’t want to lie. I know that some of you will end up living with your parents well into your forties and you know who I am talking about. I will say that the future is bright for me, I am getting clean and I’m going to do something important with all this money I’ve worked for…no promises though. Now, for those shoutouts I’m being forced to do. I have to thank the people that helped us along the way but who is that? It’s us! We are the ones with those study groups and we are the ones who passed on the answers during test time. High school is nearly impossible but hey at least we got through it. Maybe, just maybe, now you guys can actually be as important as you pretend to be.
ReplyDeleteIt’s finally here, graduation day is upon us and I cannot be happier. This school is horrible; I hate being here, and most of the people I can’t stand. I honestly don’t care about this right now, I’m just happy to be leaving. This school taught me nothing I need in life, but thanks for teaching me where every river is in Africa its really going to help me. I’m thrilled to be saying goodbye to every one of you for the last time; I can’t wait to not see your faces every day, I can’t stand seeing you people. Most of you don’t even care what I’m saying right now, and honestly I don’t really care about any of you. These have been the longest four years of my life and I couldn’t be happier that they are over. Good luck to everyone in life even though I don’t really care about you because most of you won’t do anything with your life, but good luck anyway.
ReplyDeleteTo my fellow classmates and the graduation class of 2015,
ReplyDeleteWhile I stand up here and look at all the smiles on your faces and the tears going down your faces, I can’t help but laugh because we all know that high school sucked. It was the worst four years of our lives. Like come on guys, we all know this. Like I really do hate half of you guys. I honestly have like two friends and it’s your guys fault. Nobody wanted to see how awesome I was. How can you guys sit here and have a fake smile on your faces? Oh wait. I know what the smiles are for, it’s because we hate it here and we can’t wait to leave this place. High school was like prison. Teachers always nagging at you and they won’t leave you alone. Yeah teachers, you guys! You guys are so annoying and I think everyone here can agree. Thanks for teaching us how to raise a family and buy a house and stuff that is actually useful in life. Oh wait. That’s right. You didn’t.
With that said, I can’t wait to leave here because I never get to see your ugly faces again except for my two friends. Honestly, the two friends that I have aren’t even in this grade, so I hate all of you equally (smile on my face). Hey you (points to the kid in the front) why do you have tears going down your face? Are they tears of joy? Cause honestly, you should be crying tears of joy cause were getting out of here! So to my fellow classmates, I just want to guys to remember this one thing, I HATE ALL OF YOU GUYS AND I CANT STAND TO LOOK AT YOU GUYS! So this is my goodbye, forever. It’s been real.
Hello Class of 2015,
ReplyDeleteWe have made it a very long way. I can say truthfully I have memories involving all of you, some better than others. There were good times and bad times. Oh yeah there were some seriously bad times, but right now I want to reflect on the fact that we all have the choice to never see each other’s faces again. Like you (points out random student) I don’t have to see your ugly ass everyday anymore. Oh and you over there with the highlights I don’t have to hear your high pitched voice at 7:40 in the morning. But seriously you should get that checked out it sounds like a dying cat is crying every time you open your mouth. Now for the faculty, oh yes the glorious faculty of the wonderful school. I will miss all of you and (bursts out laughing) I’m so sorry, but I can’t lie to you guys. Some of you I learned absolutely nothing from. Like seriously go back to school or something (looks over at principle) seriously who are you hiring here? What do they have to show up with a piece of paper that says teaching degree written across it with crayon to be hired? Now for the other teachers, YA’LL ARE WASSUP ON SOME FOR REAL ISH THOUGH! THANKS FOR TEACHING ME SOME SERIOUS STUFF LIKE HOW TO READ AND THAT WAR WITH THE NAZIS! YO THAT WAS CRAZY! And now for the part where I say special crap about certain people. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I REALLY hate you! You can go fall into a hole! We’re cool! And go get hit by a bus! Where’s that person who was runner up for valedictorian? (Person raises their hand) Aye there you are. I just have one question for you. (Dramatic pause) YOU MAD OR NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Anyways I’m gonna blow this popsicle stand and I better not see none of ya’ll dumbies again! I’m outchea!
The Worst Graduation speech
ReplyDeleteWell hello class of 2014 or as we say it in Texas Howdy my fellow partners. We are all gathered here to celebrate the time we have shared in the years we have spent together in a school district that just really doesn’t give a crap about anyone but their paychecks. I’m sorry but “No child left behind” is nothing but lies, as you can see all around me there are my classmates sitting in the stands yards away from the actual ceremony. Sitting there wishing they were also graduating and getting out of this so called hell hole of a school. But no instead of taking the time to help them succeed y’all sat around and hosted parties for the teachers, wasted school funds on new macs for the teachers and left nothing for the struggling students that actually wanted to make something of themselves. I wonder what the state would like to say if they heard what was actually going on in the classrooms. Oh? They just heard everything on live television? My bad. Well now that everyone knows how much I despise this school and all the teachers in it lets celebrate, celebrate that we’re finally getting out of here. Cheers to new beginnings and hopefully for the underclassmen, new teachers will be hired because we all know they are not needed.
I’d like to start off this speech by giving a shout out to all the teachers that spent all this time teaching us irrelevance. Thanks for teaching how to solve for “X” but not the basics of real life when it comes to buying a house and things like that. When we ask our parents for money, they will sometimes say no and come with the “money doesn’t grow on trees” speech or “it’s not easy.” Well, why isn’t it easy? Throughout these four years of high school, we were so busy learning what y=mx+b is, that I think most of us feel like they left out so many more life skills that were needed. Thanks for always pushing us to go to college, but how do we go about paying it? What about scholarships? I'm glad I'm leaving this lame school. It is now 2016, been here since 2012 and I don’t have the slightest clue of what I’m going to do with my life. We are all here gathered to thank all faculties for these four years and finally get this diploma. Most of will be heading to Wildwood later on today. I don’t know much of what I’ll be doing next month but THANK GOODNESS I know how to find the distance of a shape. Bye guys!!! See you in 2kNever <3
ReplyDeleteYo yo yo. What is good my homies? Today is my big day. Not yours… okay maybe but I feel like mine is better I have been in this High School for the longest four years of my life. I know I could have tried harder, but I did not and I am still here on this stage with the rest of you people that tried 20 times harder than me. What I did try hard on was to bring a fresh pair of shoes every single day. Rocking out with J’s since the start and I ain’t stopping now. (Lifts up his gown) Look at these fresh J’s I got. I worked hard for these I camped out of foot locker all night for these. Ya are jealous, but whatever I am out talk with ya’ll later.
ReplyDeleteGood afternoon fellow classmates, teachers…blah blah blah. Who really cares about all the boring introductory nonsense that we are forced to hear every single year. It’s hot, we are all sweaty, hungry, and I’m sure most of us just want to get over with this to go to project graduation and afterwards turn up forreal. I guess this would be the part in which I thank the teachers for teaching us a bunch of useless information that we will probably never use again in life and especially for torturing us with loads of work that they would then complain about grading. Also a special thanks to the marvelous super intendant and all the other lovely member of the Board of Ed for rejecting all of our ideas for fundraisers, clubs and activities. And now a shoutout to my classmates; to half of you who I don’t even like and to the other half that made these past four years bearable. Keep it real Class of 2014!
ReplyDeleteWe all sit here and think damn this is the end of high school but aye maybe it’s not over maybe this is the beginning I guarantee great things are to come. Now we all know most of us got here from copying but others actually put in more than 100%, so I have to give credit to where it is due. Most kids would get up here and say thank you to all of the teachers, but we all know there’s a few teachers out there that is not our favorite so we need to shout out to all of the teachers that was liked by most students. I look back and see all of the proud moms and guardians looking from their seats thinking “I’m so proud” so I want to give a shout out to all of the guardians that believed in there kids and knew that something like this was going to happen, I want to let everyone know that we are all basically family and we all need to keep in touch everyone keep your head up I’m out.
ReplyDeleteSoooo um I’m not really prepared so I’m gonna wing this. Um I guess I’m supposed to talk about how many great times I’ve had but the truth is high school sucks. Yeah I like seeing my friends and joking around with them but I didn’t like anything else. School is a prison for the mind. It’s the same thing day after day, I want adventure, I want something new. We learn a topic, study for it, test on it, and then forget about it. We go through all of this just to get a good grade so some dumb college will accept us and so our parents will be proud. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to go to college guys. Most of you will probably drop out. Why not have fun and chill? Nooo but you guys want to work for the rest of your life, whatever I don’t care anyways. I love ma peeps but the rest ya’ll suck. Goodbye and have a happy life, I’m out.
ReplyDelete