An epitaph is a poem to remember the dead. Your poem will let the person reading it know the following:
- Who is in the grave?
- How they lived? or died?
Your task is to write a poem (or lyrical prose) that will be displayed on tombstones in the graveyard. You may choose to make them serious or humorous, depending on the person the epitaph is for. Many famous writers use lines from their own fiction on their tombstones (included is the picture of F Scott Fitzgerald's grave) to further immortalize their words.
You will be writing 10 of these in total, with one of them being an epitaph for your own tomb. Each one of the epitaphs needs to be a minimum of 4 lines long.
Here is an example of a humorous epitaph:
Here lies my dear friend Ben.
He walked into a lion's den.
He made some noise, that silly fool,
and turned up in the lion's stool.
Robert was not well
ReplyDeleteMany noticed when he fell
Nobody asked if he was fine
All that’s left now is the chalk line
Jim lived like a king
Always with some pretty young thing
When she found someone else in their bed
All they found was his body covered in red
Charlie was addicted to his blow
The powder was white as snow
It might have been the death of him
Or maybe it was his dealer Tim
Justin was a noble man
He dedicated his life to Uncle Sam
Then one day he left for war
To be seen no more
Steve was a man of the cloth
Who drank deeply from the broth
Gluttony was his curse
And now he rides in a hearse
Sam’s skin was white as snow
Seeing as she was an albino
Then when winter came
Mother Nature was to blame
Jenry was known throughout the land
For the murders committed by his hand
The law wanted his head
And now it rests on a wooden bed
Mark lays here
Always consumed by his fear
He never truly loved his life
So it was taken by the knife
Michelle body rests in this tomb
Always in fear of her doom
She was taken by another’s blade
And now she roams as a shade
Ryan lies in this box
He was quick as a fox
But his feet were not quick enough
To stop the car from going off the bluff
Vance was his name
DeleteFor his death someone was to blame
It could have been hid kid or his wife
All we know is that it was done with a knife
Rian was a good man
He had a loving wife named Pam
Then one night she rolled over
So now he is buried in Dover
Mark was odd
He loved fishing for cod
Then when Michelle went out with him
From the lake his body we had to skim
Michelle always thought she was fare
But lost that thought when she went to the chair
Mark flipped the switch with glee
As Michelle’s soul was forced to flee
Mike lies underground
His body never to be found
Never to rise again
Until the apocalypse marks the end
This girl was the beauty of the land
Every man wanted her hand
But her life was cut short
Framed and sentenced to death by the court
A loving father, and wonderful friend
ReplyDeleteSomeone who would stand by your ‘til the end
He asked for no tears on his grave
And wishes for all his grandchildren to be brave
Haley was one of a kind
A star and someone very hard to find
Her favorite hiding spot a cave
Sadly now she rests in this grave
Eric a dare devil like no other
Living life on the edge
Sadly a banana peel was sitting there so
It’s a good thing his motto was YOLO
A best friend who loved her phone
Even though she would use it on the road
Getting hit while writing TTYL
But now we all stand here and want to write back when?
Benjamin never really cared
Never letting anything stay on his mind
Looking down on himself now
He probably would just shrug his shoulders walking away saying hey that’s life
Working hard all his life
Making sure to take care of his kids and wife
More than 80 years on this earth
I just wish I got to say goodbye to him first
A young man just starting out his life
Making sure he ran it right
Sadly someone lied and said they were his friend
Them taking his life wasn’t how it was supposed to end
A smart young woman who ran the streets
Someone my sister would’ve loved to me
But it was her time to return home
Nine years later our tears still roam
Only a young girl her life barely began
We all can still remember she was touched by that man
HE took her life which no one could take
Our hearts are something that continue to break
An addiction they couldn’t break
A disgusting habit they couldn’t shake
Slowly it took Carie away
That final puff is why she isn’t her today
Totiana loving and bright
ReplyDeleteA happy soul
Don’t cry for me
You guys know I still love you all
I love you too! <3
DeleteA friend that got along with everyone
ReplyDeleteA smile with the wrong friends
A gunshot
This bounced him into a different world
A parent that only thought of himself
But his lungs were slowly burning up
A little tiny thing in his mouth
Burned his life away
A mother
Standing up for her children
With eleven kids with a drunken father
All she asked for them to be safe and sound, was that too much to ask for?
A brother that nobody got to experience
All he got to experience was the womb of his mother
Three days before he was born he died
Take care of your family in heaven
All he did was smoke a grandfather that never visited his grandchildren
He lasted ninety six years drinking
He acted like a child his last years
At least he enjoyed his time here on Earth
An uncle well loved
His family didn’t get to say the last goodbye
All of a sudden, boom gone
He is well missed
A very picky grandmother
Her last visit was the last time she saw her daughter
She went back home and died of a heart attack
We will all miss the sweet old smile on her face
A chubby little three year old
All she wanted was a piece of bacon
She choked
At least she can be in a place where it’s all you can eat
A baby
She couldn’t do anything
She was in the wrong hands
Now she at least has someone to protect her
Her job was with tigers
She would wear strips all day
She gave them kisses and the time she gave a monkey a kiss
They decided her grave was going to be next to them
Her name was Lisa
She was loved by many
She laughed and always had a good time
Now don’t cry for all she wants you to know that she is now in a better place
Here lies good old Mark,
ReplyDeleteHe eyes were very stark.
But when he got too close,
You could only find his nose.
Here lies Michelle,
She sang in her own shell.
But when she had nothing left,
She was no longer so deft.
Here lies good old Jenry,
He is in all of our memories.
He played basketball all his life,
Right up until he met his strife.
This good man’s name was Robert,
He had a friend named Bert.
They worked together for a lot of years,
But now all that is left are their tears.
Here lies a guy named Vance,
He was run through with a lance.
His passion was being a teacher,
Now all we here is this good preacher.
Here lies Mr. Mosley,
He was never really that showy.
He was a really good principle,
However, he was kind of cynical.
Here lies a good man Steven,
Some considered him to be a heathen.
But I am sure he is going to heaven,
Because he sacrificed his life for more than seven.
Here lies my good friend Smith,
Whom I had some fun times with.
He acted in a lot of movies,
But none that guest starred the character Stewie.
Here lies Rob,
He ended up without a job.
He died on the street,
With people’s change at his feet.
Here lies my good friend Tim,
He was not as fortunate as Jim.
Jim was the one that stole his wife,
So Tim ended up taking his life.
Rian is the person who lies here
ReplyDeleteSix feet under everyone’s feet
When in his life he walked
Six feet above everyone
Under this tree I lay
With rain and snow on my grave
Not able to give children presents
Who am I?
Hi my name is Fred
I tried lifting this grave stone up
But it fell on me
So someone else had to lift it for me
What should I put on this grave stone
I only have four lines to write
I have lived a full life and I only get four lines
Oh wait now I don’t have any
I remember growing up with this guy
He was a brilliant and amazing person to be around
As time passed on he got old and wise
Then he died
This family asked me to say a few words on this guy’s grave stone
He probably saw me as one of his closest friends
Well I got some news for you
I hated you
I know this might be kind of awkward for you
But I have a secret to tell you
It might offend you and your family
But I accidently killed your dog
Hey Mike, can you hear me Mike
Oh wait you can’t hear me
Other than this message only being a written message
But you are dead so you can’t hear it
Son, I have told you all the time that you should follow your dreams
And you always have but there is one problem
Even though your dreams gave you a lot of money, it led you to a world filled with drugs and alcohol,
So anyone that is reading this please don’t follow your sons or your dreams cause you will end up dead
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh wow I must have fallen asleep writing this message
This is so boring
After writing ten of these I just can’t think of anything else to write
The Collected Final Writings of Stephen Van Ness
ReplyDeleteMay he rest in peace.
By an author that wishes to remain anonymous due to the sensitive nature of this poetry, but is too conceited to actually grant his own wish and, against his better judgment, will tell everyone that his name is Stephen Van Ness.
Now that he’s re-reading this he realizes that his name was actually in the title of the poetry assignment and therefore this entire paragraph was moot and a waste of his time.
Another poem was written here
In the space where this one rests
It wasn’t written well, I fear
It’s death was for the best.
Rest in peace, dear friend
We’ve known each other long
Now you’ve reached an untimely end
And when you were in a drug induced state I made you change your will and NOW I OWN ALL YOUR PROPERTY!!!!
This person wanted me to write something for his grave
So I tried my best
I think he wanted me to write something deep on his tombstone.
Which is sorta amusing cause he’s kinda eight feet underground right now.
Some grave stones will make you smile
Some grave stones will make you cry
Some will make you laugh
This one won’t instill any emotion in you.
This man was a brilliant writer
He lived a good, long, fulfilling life.
And then, after all of those years
He died.
This is the fifth grave stone
Written by this writer.
Maybe he should cut while he is ahead
Because sooner or later a family is going to be offended by the candid humor he uses while writing on the gravestones of their loved ones and he’ll lose all of his money to a lawsuit and that would just stink, wouldn’t it?
I love writing poems for dead people
Like the one I am writing now
Because they can never be offended by the fact that I don’t even mention them
‘Cause their DEAD!
The person buried here I knew well
We grew up together.
Well, sorta. He was in my class in fifth grade. I think.
Anyway, he was a nice feller. May he rest in peace!
This person told me to write on his gravestone
But I secretly hated his guts
When I read he was dead in the paper I spent the night laughing
Cause he was a stupid communist and always got in my way all the time. And he trusted me enough to let me write his gravestone! Ironic, isn’t it?
Here I lie, the writer of these poems
All of those gravestones were put up at the same time.
The relatives of the people didn’t really appreciate what I said about their dead relatives, so they rioted and broke into my house.
But before they took action, they let me write on more poem.
Here likes this kid named Mark,
ReplyDeleteHe was a well-known Narc.
I guess he should’ve stopped doing blow,
Because he ended up 6 feet below.
There’s this boy named Al,
He was always a good pal.
He was really good at math,
But he was killed by a staff.
Here lies Stan,
He was always a big man.
Until his daughter died,
He just laid there by her side.
Here’s this beautiful girl,
All she wanted was the world.
Her life ended too short,
Unfortunately she loved to snort.
Here lies Mr. Vogel,
He wasn’t a local.
He loved giving students pink slips,
Now he is rotting in a crypt.
Here lies a girl named Lisa,
She loved to eat pizza.
One day she was walking home from the pizza shop,
Then she got run over by a cop.
Here lies Rob,
His favorite food was corn on the cob.
One day he choked on a piece of corn,
He died before his daughter was born.
Here lies Michelle,
She sang so well.
Her life was taken by a man,
The one she loved named Sam.
Here lies Kate,
She was always the one who loved to bake.
She choked on a piece of cake,
And that was her biggest mistake.
Here’s this boy,
He always brought me great joy.
I was going to be his wife,
Until he took his life.
Here lies Jeff McCrum
ReplyDeleteHe was such a dumb old chum
drunk himself into a stooper
and died on the doorstep of the widdow Cooper
Eleanor Rigby lies deep down as sudden as a burst of thunder
she lived in starvation and lonelyness
and everyone around her was completely oblivious
Here lies Celia Ray
who spent each and every day
masking her feelings with a smile
but underneath, was a lost lonely child
Here lies Judith Bates
Mother of two, grandmother of eight
died after 100 long and happy years
let’s hope in heaven she will bring love and cheer
Nicolas Fitzgerald, father of three
was loved by many and missed he will be
his family was his pride and joy
but a car came and killed him along with his friend, Roy
Elizabeth Martin lies here
her greatest joy was causing fear
don’t ever walk by her grave at night
for if you do, her ghoast will start a fight
Here lies Frankie Nailor
who lived his life a drunkan sailor
he’d drink and curse like no one ever heard
but fell off the ship and could utter no word
Here lies lazy old Strouse
who never ever left his house
every day he was depressed
and he never talked to anyone or ever got dressed
Here lies Freddy McCan
who thought he was a macho man
he wressled a 900 pound muscle guy
who broke his bones and made him die
Grace Amodeo lies under here
born a musician with no fears
after performing one dark night
she died as a result of a drunkan fight
This is the alternant assignment I did.
ReplyDeleteBio club: These are my notes for the article
Overview of it: The bio club is an extracurricular activity at Dunellen High school. (talk to Ms. Bodak about the scheduling.) We talk about what we are going to be doing in the future, like Earth day and field trips. There are about 30? people in the club. The club is open to everyone in high school. Freshmen to seniors and people in athletics can also make the meetings, because they are not very long. We always get shirts for the bio club so that we can remember being in bio club in the future. Everyone pays a five dollar due so that we can have a little money in our bio account to get shirts and the animals for the dissections.
Officers and officials: President: Brenda vice president: Paige Secretary: Stephen Treasure: (need to know from Ms. Bodak). Ms. Bodak and Ms. Garni are the Officials.
Detailed description of it: Earth day, dissections, field trip, meetings.
1. Here lies Katity O’Donnell
ReplyDeleteThey girl who never knew
What life was really?
She was such a lovely girl
2. Here lies a Kerry Johnson
A true hearted girl
She knew how to love
And lived a wonderful life
3. Here lies Skywizard
A real person can’t you guess
The things he did can never be forgotten
A proud father he was
4. Her lies lovely women
Her true name was never known
Some called her Stacy some called her Massie
That doesn’t matter because she wasn’t very classy
5. People always asked if I was crazy or insane
I would always let them judge me
The line was thin
And what I thought was all that mattered
-Alex Rojas
6. There once was a boy
He didn’t know much about life
Except that he wanted to be happy in life
And he finally is
7. Alexi was a fine lady
It was her time to go
She acted somewhat shady
She owes me since a long time ago
8. She was a beauty queen
Yet she was only fourteen
She has this routine
That only she and god could see
9. There comes a time in life
When we all must go
She was such a lovely wife
And always put on a show
10. Here lies Aaron
A free soul
Now lost in this world
He truly loved rock and roll
Here lies my great old mom
ReplyDeleteShe had a brother, his name was Tom
Her brother killed her with one swift swipe
Because she would also gripe
In the grave is my friend Dave
He was known for being brave
He once fought a big fierce lion
He gave up without even trin’
There is that girl Jackie
She died wearing her khakis
They were just a little too tight
Killed her in the middle of the night
Here lies a dead little bird
The fact that it gets a funeral is a bit absurd
It died by falling out of a tree
It never knew you or me
This is the grave of my Aunt Beth
Her husband drove her to her death
He loved her like any husband would
She could not stand how he treated her good
Amanda Brown lies peaceful in the ground
ReplyDeleteShe brought joy to everyone she knew
Thought about everyone but herself
Enjoyed every moment of life
Barbra Brook lies here in the mud
She had many illnesses her whole life
Never let anyone feel bad for her
But she managed to put a smile on everyone face
Here lies a grandmother, mother, and a wife
Raised her kids, and her grandchildren
She took care of every situation she could handle
Always thought of nothing but the best
Tania knew nothing but the best
Went for what she wanted
Had nothing but big dreams
Now she lies here under the dirt
Here lies a best friend
Did nothing but smile
Showed no fear
She was always confident
Here lies John Williams
Didn’t have much common sense
Always got into trouble
No one ever understood his thought but he was unique
Here lies my grandmother
The most amazing women I ever met
Always put a smile on someone’s face, when she was in pain
Had to be on medication all her life but always showed hope
He would always make jokes for everything he heard
Made people laugh, even when it was mean
Never showed any feelings
He most definitely lived life to the fullest
She was everyone’s favorite
She was the life of the party
Never let anything stop her from doing what she wanted
Enjoyed what she did
Here lies Samantha
Only cared about family, nothing more
Would make family parties loud and fun
Made time for people that needed help with anything
John grinned. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. He rubbed his forehead trying to think of what to say next.
ReplyDelete“You never signed that form for me to go on the field trip,” she said suddenly.
“Oh my god Allie, I’m so sorry. Where is it?”
She ran her fingers through her hair and looked up at him. “It’s too late,” she said. “The field trip was today. I had to stay in the library.” She looked away, her eyes filling with tears again. “It was so embarrassing.”
John suddenly felt incredibly guilty. He couldn’t understand how he could’ve forgotten about his own daughter for so long. How he could’ve just ignored her without realizing it. “I could still take you if you want to go.” He said.
Here lies Michelle
ReplyDeleteHer life was never a hell
And she smells
Now she’s dead, oh well
Here lies my boy mark
He would always play ball at the park
One day after dark
He was killed by a narc
Here lies ayanna
Who lives in Tijuana
Always admired Madonna
Found dead in the sauna
Robert lays here
From him the land was in fear
He killed on a land that was lawless
By the end of a rope he found his justice
Felix A family man
Now in heaven
Helping gods demand
Hit by a car his next life began
The city was dead silent. No one had anywhere to go so late at night. All of the stores were closed, the taverns were open but only for people wanting to rent a room on the upper floors for the night. It’s crazy how a city can be packed during the day and utterly baron once the sun sets. Tristain walked down the sidewalk feeling conspicuous and vulnerable. Ellie’s shop was only a block away and he could already feel the man’s presence.
ReplyDeleteWhat was he going to do when he got in there? Hear him out? What could he possibly have to say? PLEASE help me kill the king? C’mon, it’ll be SO funny! Yeah, sure. What if he just full on tried to kill the guy? He already knew he could overpower the man if he tried. A knife to the chest would end his problems pretty quickly.
He finally reached the shop and stopped short. Was he really going to go through with this? He wouldn’t just kill the guy once he got in. He’d wait. If the man made one wrong move, he was going down. He Put his ear to the door and listened for some sign of life. After a minute of hearing nothing, he pushed the door open and peeked inside.
“A wise man once said he was ‘late for a very important date!’, and it would seem you’re in the same predicament, Tristain.”
The man was sitting atop the counter, swinging his legs like an impatient child, waiting for his mother to finish something. Tristain slid inside and turned, quietly closing the door behind him. When he turned back around, the man was inches away from him.
“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting all night!”
“What’s your name?”
The man tilted his head sideways and looked around the room.
“Oh, were you talking to me? Sorry, it just didn’t make sense to me why someone would arrive at a meeting in the middle of the night to speak to a man that killed an undisclosed amount of armed guards and nearly killed the king of a very large kingdom and the first question said person posed the skillful assassin is about his name.”
Here lie the bones of Henry Jones
ReplyDeleteHe fell into a hole and began to moan
He was really truly blind, but his wife gave up looking,
And she didn’t mind
Bob wanted a life of a sailor
Instead he became a tailor
Customers come in with newly ripped pants
With Bob’s experience, it ended with an ambulance
Matt had a favorite color of orange
He hit his head on the door hinge
He fell out the window, onto a shack,
Now he’s here, lying on his back
Wilfred was a man of his word
He never left his pet bird
One day it attacked and pecked at his back
He now stays here, piled with a dirt stack
There once was a man named Ned
He decided to be a woman instead
He was walking with his high heels
When he tripped into a tank full of electric eels
Bender was a friend of mine
He was almost as smart as Albert Einstein
He choked on some pasta
Given to him by a Rasta
Mandy lived a life that was happy
But her final days were rather crappy
It rained on her birthday, and she had a clown
Lightning struck and went straight to the ground
Life was tragic for this guy Terry
It all started when he fell off the ferry
Now he’s around, swimming with the fishes
At least he doesn’t have to do the dishes
Bad luck always followed Neil
His life was cut short because of a deal
He sold his soul to Richard Nixon
He was his idol, and this epitaph needs fixin’
This man was once named Jesse
His living room was really messy
He slipped on a shirt and fell out the door
I guess he should have cleaned up some more
Here lays a girl named Audrey
She was never at all tawdry
Now she lies here, because of a hit to the head
She’d rather be alive, playing softball instead
ReplyDeleteHere lies my best friend Jessie
Who loved this soccer player named Messi
He stepped into a room full of Real Madrid fans
And got hit by a bunch of pans
Here lies my good friend Patty
Who got hit by a car very badly
She wasn’t looking both ways and ran through traffic
We should all blame Patrick
Here lies my brother’s heart
That got torn apart
It wasn’t its fault they made mistakes
Now his love life is at stake
Here lies my good friend Simon
He loved stealing diamonds
He went to a criminals house and stole from his basket
Well, now he’s in a casket
Here lies my good friend Mark
Who loved swimming with the sharks
He tripped over the deck and hurt his head
He started bleeding and felt dizzy he dropped dead
Here lies my ugly friend Gelviz
Who loved bothering me on a daily basis
He hated the pool
Oops, my bad I threw him in the whirlpool
Here lies my best friend Gator
who loved hiding in the refrigerator
One day he was playing hide and seek
They couldn’t find him after a week
Here lies my friend Rye
Who loved being a spy
She went on a task
she came back with a face mask.
Here lies Benny
Who lived with his crazy ex named Jenny
He met someone else and kicked her out the house
Results were that he was eaten by a mouse
A man with style
ReplyDeleteThis was Kyle
For whom who was brave
Was trampled at a rave
Dainty Michelle
Had a huge bell
One day it fell
And sent her to hell
Old Abram Brown
Went to town
As he came towards us
He got hit by a bus
Attached to a kite
Was a boy named Mike
As he flew up high
The rope that held him untied
The time was nigh
When Abby died
She walked the plank
Into the shark tank
Susan was very fickle
But she always ate a pickle
So one day it went down her throat
And made her croak
Hello my name is Bob
And I am part of the mob
One day I got into a fight
And never again saw the daylight
Poor Seth is missed
By the princess he kissed
But the princess is married
So now Seth is buried
Felix was a lucky fellow
Who was very shallow
One day this stupid man
Stayed out too long for a tan
Here lies Desirae Forrest
I’m dead and you’re not
So give yourself a gold star
For making it this far
Jimmy, the guard, may have sat on a wall
ReplyDeleteBut Jimmy, the guard, didn’t have a great fall
Yet on that wall he caught a cough,
Which left him in a coffin.
Here lies Francis the Great
An indescribable king
But his reign was over when he heard
The bells at the gallows ring
“I can’t catch the plague”
Young Jimmy would proclaim
When people asked his cause of death
The plague was the thing to blame
Raoul was a foolish man
That didn’t know his place
He got in the way of the marching band
And was left with a flattened face.
Henry Dart was a man of the law
Enforcing the rules just like his pa
But when he took on the shift of the night
He encountered a bear with a mighty big maw
Studying is all that James ever did
He stayed up all night with his books
But the last that he saw was a closing dumpster lid
Because he gave an angry man all the wrong looks
To win a pie eating contest
Is the topic of all of Dave’s dreams
But when he ate the first pie, he didn’t expect to die
Because it was letting out poisonous steams
Here lies Jonny Springs
He trained his dog to respond to dings
But one day he rang that bell too much
And angered the dog so he became its lunch
Jennifer gave her life away
To save the only friend that would ask her to play
He was allergic to any type of bee
So she shielded him, but so was she.
Underneath the apple tree
Sat the very man who planted it
But the tree was tired of giving apples for free
So it fell and squished poor little Mitt
here lies matt
ReplyDeletewho was a little to fat
who ate something interesting
then he choked eating a rat
here lies jane
who ate candys canes
then out of nowhere
she was hit by a hurricane
here was rob
who liked giving out jobs
but one day he fired somenone
and then chased by a mob
here is red
who one day was awfully dread
then when she wasn't looking a
penny fell on her head
here is dan
who had a very big plan
but it got to extreme
and his plan fell on his hand
here is steven
who did things without reason
then he fell into a pit
for his treason
here is here is dax
who did not pay any tax
then the government came to his house
and chopped his head off with a axe
here is dane
who was much to blame
for the hurricane
now he's able to live again
here is bryan
who had a friend named ryan
bryan was found dead
then his friende came home crying
here is dawn
who went to her prom
but her date was so crazy
she was dead on her lawn
Here lies my dear friend Sean
ReplyDeleteWho constantly sang a silly song
When he was singing on a day in June
He lost his breath and choked to his doom
Here lies poor, sweet Bailie
She had a pet snake that was quite scaly
She fell asleep with its cage unlocked
Out of the blue, her airway was blocked
Here lies my best friend Kerry
She never knew she was intolerant to dairy
Her aunt whipped up her famous ice cream sundae
Never saw her in school on Monday
Here lies young Freddy Bow
He promised there wasn’t anything he didn’t know
One day he got a 99% on a test
His heart stopped because it wasn't impressed
Here lies ever-so curious George
On the street, there was food he wanted to gorge
He simply longed for the taste, that’s all
But his curiosity is what caused his downfall
Here lies Great Aunt Pat
Who still thought the earth was flat
She sailed to the edge of the sea to prove us wrong
Since she forgot her map, her trip was rather long
Here lies innocent Joe
He entered a door in school he didn't know
It was a pitch-black room that he came across
Poor, young Joe ended up lost
Here lies cousin Jane
She was quite conceited and very vain
Once she entered a beauty pageant
But when she got second place, she finally had it
Here lies miserly Bob
Who kept his money to himself like it was his job
He refused to donate to a charity in need
Now we know not to follow his lead
Here lies dearest Liz
When it came to chess she thought she was a wiz
She couldn't predict her opponent's next move
She didn't last long after she lost her groove
Here lies our good friend Linda Shue
ReplyDeleteKindest girl I ever knew
Went out in a hurricane and away she blew
We will see you later, this is true
Here lies Fred Drake
Went for a swim in a lake
And then got bit by a snake
Oh for goodness sake
Mora Snife was a good wife
But ran into a knife
This concluded her life
Thus ending her daily strife
Paul Wilson, always loved but never known
The cradle is empty
Our hearts our broken
We will miss you always
Here lies Jake Lunn
He played Russian roulette with a gun
He thought it would be fun
Now his life is done
There once was a man named Mr. Post
Who used to boast about living by the coast
This didn't sit well with most
So they burned him like toast
Rest in peace Jim Volk
Who was a wonderful bloke
Who told the funniest jokes
Until he died of a stroke
Poor Holly Lee did not see the yellow bee
That stung her so ruthlessly
In her pretty little knee
Allergic was she
There was a girl named Sage
Who used to go to the zoo to read books page by page
But a gorilla in a rage jumped out of his cage
and ate our poor Sage
Carolyn, to Africa she went
To study cheetahs to great extent
While hidden in the tall grassland
She didn't see the lioness as it ran
It grabbed her by her hand
The lioness dragged her to a special place
And ate her all and left no trace
A lover of pandas and turquoise
ReplyDeleteAnd music as well
She loved her trombone with its average sized bell
But here she now lies, never to play again
He had just reached middle age
With his gray hair and wrinkling face
He liked to work at his own pace
A man of love and a dear father
Man’s best friend is what they say
A fluffy companion and a loyal pet
Running in heaven I bet
Who said these can’t be for dogs too?
She viewed the world as bleak and sad
Never having the joy from a child
And never cracking a smile
Until the day of her death
An amazing uncle and husband
Known for his kindness and music
He played his mandolin and guitar
Until the music carried him away
Spiky and small is what Chance is
With a little red under her chin
Her stomach is round but her legs are lean
And her yellow eyes pierce the prey
He questioned everything
Always a curious child
He went to a dance and didn’t drink
But the other one did and he took the blame
She died at the age of one hundred
The day after her birthday to be exact
She was glad to see another year
But sad to leave this world and her family
She always had a heart problem
Then the attack came
She stopped and fell
And the doctors couldn’t bring her back
A loving man but with the wrong decision
He chose to take up the drug and became addicted
That’s when his supply ran out
But it was too late; the cancer had already done the damage
1. My friend Trissy lies below
ReplyDeleteA great musician born and grew
1575 to Philippine she went
Got killed and stoned and buried whole
2. Governor Willow rests here
Born in NJ, he helped out lives
Dead at age fifty-five
The state cried
3. Captain martin sleeps underground
Plot of Airline Flight
Safely maneuvered the plane many years
Until 2007, when the birds caught in the gears
4. Madam Mariposa rests below
Never expected, at twenty-five, of dying
At last second, her dream came true
Near the cliff of Watsonhood, where she flew
5. Herga was liked by many in school
Likable, lovable, and lazy too
She sang the choir songs day after day
Until the age of ninety-eight
6. Dear wife of Mr. Sand
Teacher at Sandy’s school
Choking on water in the teachers room
Too bad it was during the time of shining moon
7. Cool Chris Coul lies below
No one knew where he went
One day, a hiker found his body
With wolf bite marks and ripped shirt
8. Police officer with a bullet in his heart
In a coffin buried ten feet underground
Arrested a total of thirty
Died protecting a life-long buddy
9. Janet Christopher, dead 1779
Wife of Louise Kine
Died durfing their honeymoon
When the cruise ship sunk
10. Mud and grass over our seaman Sean
Proud and wonderful captain of our fishing ship
Pushed into the shark’s empty stomach
By his untied shoelaces
#1
ReplyDeleteHere lies my enemy Liz
She chocked on some soda fizz
Because she laughed
Got some straight from the draft.
#2
Here lies my friend Ann
She was not a fan.
Of cyanide
So she committed suicide.
#3
Here lies my friend Sarah
She loves Michael Cera
So she went to Zombieland
And was then eaten, so grand.
#4
Here lies my acquaintance Kelly
She drowned in a tub of jelly
Don’t ask why she was there
Just accept it, and walk over here.
#5
Here lies my friend Kim
She lost a limb.
She thought that she was so cool
And it fun seeing her in the hospital, drool
#6
Here lies my sweet pal Adam
He died on his way, driving to Chadum
He had only been driving for six months
And he killed all his little dogs, who were all runts.
#7
Here lies my pal Jara
She didn’t live ‘till tomorra’
Someone gave her a wedgie and hung her to the fence.
Her dead body was really dense.
#8
Here lies Jessie Wessie
When she came to school, her hair was messy.
She was a major band geek
She inhaled a chemical leak.
#9
Here lies my cousin Mike
He fell off his bike
And hit his head
So hard that he was dead
#10
Here lies the great Sean.
His highness was not reached
And goals were unachieved
Oh well.