Your assignment is to create a humorous set of epitaphs. They are four lines long. Lines one and two rhyme. Lines three and four rhyme. Here's an example:
Here lies my friend Claire
She lost a foot race with a bear
He licked her kidneys from his paws
and used her bones to clean his claws
You must write ten of these by the end of the period.
Here lies my friend Jack
ReplyDeleteHe was brutally attacked
He’s body was destroyed
Gone went all the joy
Here lies the man John
He was gone before dawn
He pretended to be sick
He played a bad trick
Here lies the girl Jill
She decided to go down a hill
What happened to her face?
Go look at the bottom of the base
Here lies Sam
Her existence was truly damned
What happened to her life?
The only thing left was the knife
Here lies Mr. Greens
He choked on a lot of beans
The food was the real deal
and was his last meal
Here lies Professor Plum
He was very dumb
He got into a terrible brawl
The winner was the wall
Here lies my pal Fred
His body was completely shred
Something happened to his finger
His body did not linger
Here lies the woman Suzy
She was a bit of a floozy
She went to jail
and their were a lot of males
Here lies my friend Taylor
She was a great sailor
Until the wave came
and now she has no frame
Here lies the girl Lilly
She got very chilly
The frostbite took over
and now she is a rover
Laying here I rest
ReplyDeleteThe idea of playing with Tigers wasn't the best
I wasn't in a good mood
They used me for food
I was at the top when I screamed, "yes!"
My hair was a mess
I fell off a mountain
And landed in a fountain
I was in a haunted house
I tripped over a mouse
And landed on my head
I bled
Supercalofristicexpialodocious
My death was funny for the most of us
I was playing with my cat
And hit myself with a bat
Yoplait yogurt
I ate it while the cut on my back hurt
It was bigger than I thought
A disease the cut brought
Here lies my friend fitch
I decided to dig him a ditch
It is right here
I saw his fear
i hear the beat of the snare
ReplyDeletethe innocent mind is unaware
bullets to strong for the vest
my buddy just took two in the chest
all he did was eat cake
that he did not even bake
drowned in strawberry icing
it was just too damn enticing
he lies rex ryan
he kept on trying
but ruined two careers
now he at the bar with his middle finger drinking his beers
here lies bob
he was killed by the mob
because he stole a spider monkey
that now is a crack junkie
Here lies my dad
ReplyDeleteHella dead, he wasn’t very rad
Struck by a truck
Oh well, he was a shmuck
Here lies Justin Bieber
He got strangled by a beaver
He was building a dam
I got it on cam
Here lies Gino Smith
Why the Jets started him is a myth
Died while warming the bench
Beat to death with a wrench
Here lies me
Stung by a billion bees
Damn that hurt
I didn’t even finish my gogurt
Here lies Kup
Dysentery, death by poop
Sadly he had ebola
What an aroma
Here lies my last nap
It died in the trap
Took a siesta
Than had a fiesta
Here lies yo’ wife
Posterized her cause ball is life
Here comes the funk
She didn’t know i could dunk
Here lies your ankles
They belonged to Rick Shankles
He got crossed
You could say he got Randy Mossed
Here lies a fairy
Died because they couldn’t handle dairy
Ripped a gnarly fart
Too bad it was really shart
Here lies a mop
shot up by a cop
Smelt like some bacon
now the janitorial department is achin’
Here lies Mat
ReplyDeleteHe got hit in the face with a bat
Tom went to the game
He got fame
I love my mom
and Tom
i love sweets
and wheats
Jill went up the hill
to go chill
I love cake
and i love to bake
I love dogs
and frogs
i love candy
and i like to be handy
i like to ride my bike
i like to hike
i want to climb
i don't like slime
i dont like to clowned
i am a lot of pounds
I like fish
i go swish
i am king
but the bell ring
duck duck goose
i love the moose
My favorite soda is sprite
and i love the night
i was so jolly
that i went on the trolley
the sun was bright
that i didn't fly my kite
I am a star
so i went to take a drive in the car
I love to dance
so i began to glace
i love drinking tea
so i got stung by a bee