A man has a recurring dream that someone is chasing after him. He wakes to find himself in the ocean, in front of a door; clinging onto a glowing blue orb. Write about what happens next. Who is the person chasing after him in his dream? How did he end up in the ocean and what is he doing with a glowing orb? Make sure that your writing is creative and descriptive as possible. The prompt should be 1,000 words or more. Have fun with it! :)
The dream starts like every other night. I’m walking in the city holding a rather heavy suitcase. There are few people in the streets which is unusual during this time of day, or anytime of day. The harsh wind blows down on me, making my eyes tear. It picks up garbage along the streets creating mini tornadoes. I pull my jacket tighter around me and look behind me. A figure walks not far behind. I squint to see if I can tell who he is ,but everytime I try my eyes become clouded. Intense fear and anticipation rises inside me;I feel as though he wants something from me. I walk faster but he stays right on my tail. My brisk walk turns into a jog and then a flat out sprint. I feel like a child with terror seeping into all of my being. Suddenly I feel hands on my back pushing me down, it’s the man that was chasing me. Time slows as I fall onto the concrete. My head smacks the ground turning everything into black nothingness.......and so on...
Remember to split up your post into several sections, since the blog does not accept large chunks. The complete story is due at the end of the week - proofread.
Sean was always afraid of water; well, oceans technically but he wasn’t fond of pools either. The feeling he got when he held his breath for too long was panicking. When he was younger swimming was his favorite thing. It didn’t matter that he was afraid because he felt that he was able to defeat the water. One year, his family went to the beach and stayed in a beach house. Sean had been so excited because it meant he could go for a night swim for the first time ever. While his mom slept, he snuck out and leapt into the water. It was icy cold but in a way that was refreshing. He swam out and then swam further than ever before. Breaststrokes were his specialty but it felt like a night to try new things so that’s exactly what he did. He dove into the water and swam as deep as he could before he felt that panic feeling. When he came back up for air, he felt victorious; so he did it again and again and again. Then he swam out further and dove repeatedly. After a while, he was exhausted and decided it was time to go back home. There was a slight problem; the tides were getting stronger and he couldn’t see the shore. His parents had warned him about swimming out too far but he never listened. Now he was paying the price for it. He tried to swim against the tide but it only further exhausted him. He gave up and went with the tide. Sean floated and let the tide carry him in all sorts of directions. He felt exhaustion tugging his eyes shut and was finding it harder to stay afloat. If some stranger hadn’t shown up with a boat and towels; Sean believes he would have shriveled up and died that night.
ReplyDeleteThis is why he felt like he was having a panic attack when he woke up over the same part of the ocean as that night. The glowing orb is alien and scary but it is the only thing keeping him above the wild waves. Even though Sean knows it was just a dream, he checks behind him for the man that had been chasing him. He can see the shore, but there’s a figure standing there. The water goes up to their toes but doesn’t touch. It’s like they are as close to the water as they can be without touching it. Something about this is familiar but Sean can’t put his finger on it. The orb is warm and looks like contained waves in a fishbowl. His feet are dangling over the water, only his toes are soaking in waves. The sun is beating down on him, causing his palms to get sweatier. His forehead drips with sweat from the fear of falling into the ocean. The only choice he seems to have is to push himself through the door in front of him. It is the unknown and he was always taught to never venture through the unknown…it’s not safe. He looks back at the stranger on the shore and then back at the door. His left hand slips off and that’s the decision maker: he’s going through the door. He throws his body through the door and lands on the dry, hard ground. It’s a familiar floor; it’s the one of his childhood bedroom. He looks at his old swimmers calendar; June 4, 1981. He was eleven and today was the day it all started. Sean could hear the yelling match that was going on downstairs. He knew what he had to do; he just didn’t understand why he never remembers when he does these things.
The yelling was turning into screaming; his mother’s screams of terror. As he advanced closer, he could hear the moans and grunts of his father beating the life out of the eleven-year-old version of him. He inched in close to the kitchen door and took the knife out of his pocket. Sean had known this was going to have to happen. He wasn’t as prepared as he would have liked to have been but he had to do this. He could feel the life escaping both of him. It’s a dog eat dog world. Sean lifts his hood over his head and bursts through the door. It hit the wall with a loud bang; it wasn’t loud enough to distract his dad though. His mother turns to look at him; she looks like fear personified. He can’t bear to look in her eyes (he knows how she’ll end up after this.) he lifts the knife high in the air and thrusts it into his father’s back…again and again. He leaves the knife in the back as he turns away. His mother has collapsed onto the floor, but he is saved.
ReplyDeleteThe orb appears and this time it is familiar. He grabs a piece of paper from the kitchen counter and writes one word: Done. Sean pushes it into the orb gently and watches as the orbs disappears. While he waits for its return, he looks at his past self. A scrawny boy, lying semi-conscious on the ground. He’ll only remember a very fuzzy version of this; his eyes are swollen almost completely shut. The orbs re-appears silently. Sean latches onto it and waves good bye to his mother as he takes off. This time his hands aren’t slippery or nervous. His grip stronger and more steady than ever before. Now, Sean remembers everything; who he is, what he does, it all comes back to him. He is a time traveling agent. He goes all over the past, present and future saving or killing who he is told to. But in order to do that he has to save himself. Without him, this agency would never be possible; we would live in a world where Hitler won, but JFK was also saved. We wouldn’t live in our world. Sean knows he’s on his way to headquarters. He also knows he won’t remember any of this. That’s the burden and the savior of being a time agent; you are forced to forget those you save and those you kill.
These past couple weeks have been very strange. I don’t feel like my normal self. I feel very strange and out of place. Something very weird is happening to me. I keep having this dream; very strange dream if I don’t say so myself. It’s almost as if a part of me is trying to tell me something. It’s so odd how the dream could just seem so realistic at times. I wake up all the time thinking it’s true. How could I believe it though? It’s the same thing every night. Why would I think the same thing happens every day? Just imagine living in a world where you had to relive one day over and over again. I just wouldn’t be able to do it. There will be parts of the dreams where I try to wake up but I just can’t, it’s as I’m chained down in my own figure of imagination, how does that happen, if I have control of what I imagine? This whole recurring dream thing just creeps me out. I also find it very interesting that it’s happening. I truly fear that a part of me is trying to say something to me. The dream is just so dysfunctional but yet beautiful at times. It brings me through every emotion I could imagine. I feel like this dream is holding all the answers to my unanswered questions in my life in a hidden message. I just have to be able to understand the dream, unlock the code and relate it to life. But do I really want to? The dream seems to give me the answers at times and it makes be happy but it also hurts me. If only it would change and show me what happens next. Every night it ends with me falling down a hole, but then I seem to slowly climb back up. Do I ever make it back to the top? Or do I just continue to try again but keep falling. Do I really want to follow this dream and then have it lead me to a failure? But maybe I do make it to the top; maybe I should follow the dream. There were such beautiful parts of the dream. Parts that make me wish that it was true .There would be moments where I would just be me and him. We would just be holding each other as if nothing was wrong. Sadly I could never see his face. It was always blurred out. But that never mattered. I felt as if I knew him inside and out, weather his face was there or not. The way he would make me feel was just so amazing, the unconditional love I was getting from this man that I only knew of in my heart, because through the eyes I could not see. If this is a preview of my future then I’m extremely satisfied and I can’t wait until I get the chance to really live it. I’m not too sure if I could call this dream a blessing or a nightmare. There would be good moments like I just explained and then there would be heart wrenching moments as well; that I wish I never had to go through. I would just be sitting in a room with burning down walls, pictures scattered everywhere, broken furniture and glass, and I would just be curled up crying, while I clench on to pictures. But those tears where no normal tears. Every drop left a scar, on me. This shows me just how serious this was. If I read into the situation I could relate it perfectly to life.
ReplyDeleteThe destruction could be a symbol of how my life will slowly just crumble, things in life will just be falling apart and I won’t be able to stop them. The pictures could be memories that I just hold on to desperately to find an escape. But they won’t work, and that’s exactly why they slowly start to burn at the edges. This part of the dream scares me if it were to ever come true; however, I’m looking forward to it. It’s going to teach me that holding on to memories won’t get me anywhere farther, it’s just going to have me at a standstill in like. The next part of the dream shows me that maybe; I have to fall sometimes to get up and do better. I would just be walking along a beach and with every step I took, things got better. The beach was dark and gloomy, but once my foot fully hit the sand, everything just got bright. It was as if I was this orb that magically made everything more positive. This shows that no matter how dark the future may seem or be; I could get through it. The feeling that I was feeling was just something that I wish I could feel today. It just made me feel so carefree and relieved. The feeling of the warm sun on my back, and the sand in between my toes was just such a magical feeling. I would break out with a laugh here and there, I would do a little jump and dance twirl. I was truly happy and if anyone saw me, they would be able to tell from a mile away. I just really feel that there must be a strong meaning behind these dreams. Why would one be having the same recurring dream for the past couple of weeks? Especially such an odd dream as mine. If this dream is what I think it is then I have a lot of decisions to make. However, I don’t want to jump to conclusions and start assuming things. Maybe I’m just supposed to ignore this and just continue with the way things are already. But if this was the case I don’t believe that this dream would still be happening. I don’t want to make any drastic changes, because I’m still unsure as to what it could mean. However, this dream has pointed out some very important things to me.
DeleteReally good. I love that you take the second half to provide suggestions on what all of this could represent. Excellent use of symbolism. You really make the imagery come to life in the middle section where you describe the scene of anguish. I really like this a lot. Great job, Ashley.
DeleteEach night is something that I don’t look forward too. For the past couple of months the same dream has been continuously going on. The strange thing thought that each day the dream becomes more vivid. I can now remember the little details and I know when the everything happens but I always get scared. I’m walking down a dark street. It’s in my town and there are little stores all over but they all say they are open but the lights are turned off and nobody is in there. I’m fine with it though I’m walking in the middle of the street not worrying about any cars coming my way. I turned to a jewelry store and I walked right in. I turned on the lights and saw someone standing behind the counter. I waved to them and handed them money. I then walked out but before anything turned off the light. I walked down the street and went to the curb and sat. I took out my phone and in the corner of my eye I spotted someone all dressed in black in the dark. The person walked closer and closer to me. I began to panic and I heard someone say in my ear “run.” I got up and began to walker in a faster pace. I turn my head to see that the person is getting closer and closer to me. I can hear:
ReplyDelete“Brad. Brad. Brad.” The voice said.
I panicked and slowly began to jog it out. I then turned and the person was no longer there. I relaxed and looked to the ground and began to take a deep breath. I look at the ground and see black shoes in front of me. I slowly pick my head up to see a man not in front of me with a black mask on. I step back but the man grabbed my shirt. He pulled me to a wall. He a slowly picked me up and held my neck. I couldn’t breathe. I grabbed his hand trying to pull his hand away. I could feel him slowly press his fingers deeper into my neck. I stretched for his face while gasping for air. I then reached to his mask and took it off. Every time that happens everything turns blurry and I hit the floor. I can never see his face. I then know that the person continuously hits me. Slowly my vision is leaving me but then it comes back when he is gone. I then get up and look around to see that everything is the way it’s supposed to be. I get up and then I feel a blade hit my back and I fall to the ground. I look trying to see who it was but all I see is black shoes. Then a sharp pain comes to my back I open my mouth trying to scream but no noises come out. Everything becomes blurry and then it becomes black.
I woke up to feel something weird underneath me. I can hear noise on the side of my ear. I feel something rocky underneath my fingers. I grab it and lift it up. Everything that I grabbed slipped in a mist of a couple of seconds. I turned my head and felt something scratch my face opened my eyes I saw little tiny pebbles in front of me. I quickly got up knowing that I was not at my house anymore. I sat up and looked up to see there was a door closed and a blue orb on top of the door. I got and the blue orb jumped down and went to my arm. I pulled it off to see that it was impossible to take it off. It was attached to me. I ran to the water and sat in the water. Slowly I could feel the blue orb slowly pulling off of me. When I felt nothing hang onto me I got up and ran out the water. I opened the door to see that it was filled with blue orbs. I stepped back to the door attempting to unlock it but couldn’t unlock it. I walked towards one of the orbs and touched the orb. It disappeared before my eyes. I ran over to other glowing orbs and poked at them. Each one of them went away.
“Brad. Brad. Brad.” A voice said near me.
I panicked and turned around. It was the same voice that I heard in my dreams. I looked over to see the ocean. I looked at its beauty. I squinted my eyes I could see something. I saw a splash but they it was far away. I squinted my eyes but couldn’t make anything out. The thing was getting closer and closer to the shore and I didn’t know if I should be happy or worried. I knew that I needed to eat so if this was an animal I needed to hunt it. I stared at the thing coming closer and closer. When I saw that it was close to shore that I could make out I squinted my eyes to check it out. I saw a man with a black mask on. I stepped back scared that the man from my dream was coming back to haunt me. I had nowhere to hide. I’m in a island and there is no sign of life. This place is just surrounded with sand and nothing else besides glowing orbs. I went to the farthest part of the land. I laid on the ground trying to hide. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I was asleep. When I woke up I ended up in a hospital.
Delete“What am I doing here?” I asked the doctor.
“You were found knocked out on the street. I checked you out and you were dehydrated. Don’t worry I helped you out and you are getting better little by little. Your family was very worried for you. They are outside waiting for you. Would you like me to tell them to come in?” The doctor asked.
My family came in and I still couldn’t make out what was happening. Everyone kissed me and hugged me and I balloons everywhere in my room. I smiled and looked at the doctor that was smiling across the room.
“Why do I have the same dream continuously?” I asked him.
The doctor told my family to leave the room. I wondered why but I would never question a doctor it was probably because he wanted me to get better. I sat up and looked over to the door. The doctor came in and I looked at him. He pulled out a gun and pointed it towards me.
“Why doctor?” I asked.
“Brad. Brad. Brad.” The doctor said to me.
I dropped my mouth and closed my eyes knowing that this was the man of my dreams. I knew that my time here in the world was over.
This is awesome. Very esoteric. I love the atmosphere you create, and the ending is unexpected. Nicely done. Just go back and fix a few errors that are obvious, and make sure you keep the tense in the piece unified.
DeleteSometimes dreams don’t make sense. First thing I see is my hometown. Everything looks fine; the sun is partly covered by friendly clouds, the red and orange autumn leaves blowing in the breeze. I’m wearing my regular clothes, so I can tell you right now that it isn’t one of those dumb dreams where I’m caught with my pants down in my old high school, in full view of everyone I knew, loved, and in some cases, hated, but now only mildly care about. Well anyway, it starts with me on Main Street. I start walking. It’s brisk, with the wind blowing in my face, just the way I like it. Then I turn around and notice a distant, human-like figure walking toward me. Right now, it’s too far away for me to pick out a face, but when I see it, it starts walking faster and faster. I don’t even need to discern the face to know that he wants something from me, enough to want to hurt me for it. So naturally, I turn around and start walking faster. I reach into my pocket; just in case I need to call the police or something, but nothing’s there. I mean, it wasn’t that unusual for me to leave my phone at home, but this is one of those times when I’m really paying for it. I turn back frantically, but it turns out he hasn’t gotten that much closer. I’m relieved for a moment, but I regain my composure and continue at my slightly hurried pace. Without thinking, I turn into a forest for cover, but I manage to not get lost. For some reason, everything in it looks familiar, almost mundane. I look back to the mystery figure and he’s gotten closer, but no worries; he won’t be able to find me in the woods. I feel a heavy hand grab my arm, and sure enough, it’s the mystery man. He looks me dead in the face, his mouth covered by the collar of a dark green trench coat, and just when he’s about to say something, I wake up in horror.
ReplyDeleteToday was kind of different. I woke up on a boat with that stupid glowing blue orb chained to my wrist. How was it that I got myself in this mess? I was just going about my business, walking home from work, when I was apprehended and told to take it across the ocean and deposit it in some dead drop. They even told me which boat to take, but I figured, what does it matter which boat as long as it’s going to the same place? Instead I used one of the boats my company owns; much more familiar and safe. I couldn’t trust them, after all. Well, what they don’t know can’t hurt them-- or me. It was so stupid. So stupid that bitterness and resentment, a combination that almost amounted to entitlement, staged a mutiny against my normally rational conscience, and threw reason into the unforgiving seas.
I got up from the bed, stretched, and rubbed my eyes, as per the usual when you wake up the morning after a long, stressful day when your life gets threatened and you’re told to take some weird artifact across the Gulf of Mexico. I was staying in the captain’s quarters of the boat, a shipping vessel, and found my way to the bridge to speak to the actual captain.
“How are the waters?” I ask. He could tell that I wasn’t really that knowledgeable about the sea or anything like that.
DeleteThe captain shrugged. “They’re alright,” he said, “Almost mundane, in fact.”
It didn’t take an expert to tell that what he said was true. The azure calmness of the sea almost made me forget why I was even there in the first place. I daydreamed of exotic landscapes, or the illumination of a bustling metropolis somewhere beyond my horizon. It was just that kind of scene. It made you want to jump off and somehow land somewhere you could get lost in without a care in the world. After a moment of quiet admiration, I ask the captain how long it’ll be until we arrive.
“Not too long, sir,” he says heartily, “Just another hour or two.”
“Excellent,” I reply, “Thank you again for your services, captain.”
He grabbed the brim of his hat and nodded in gratitude, without taking his eyes off the water. I turned around to leave.
I didn’t get far into my journey back to the quarters when a heavy hand grabbing my elbow startles me and thrusts me in such a way that makes me turn around to face behind me. It was one of the crew members of the boat, and he took a breath to tell me something important when he was cut off by the sound of a loud bang coming from behind him. When we look into the corridor behind us, another crew member with a long green coat came flying in from around a corner, as if he had been flung by someone very strong. I suddenly became paralyzed. The crew member who grabbed me quickly ran past me and escaped, but I had hardly noticed. The shock was setting in and my legs were completely inactive. Next, a strange, very tall man walked with significant intention straight toward me. He grabbed my wrist with the blue orb and yanked it off, chain and all.
“We’re done with you,” he muttered. “Thank you for your services.”
I was till spellbound and struggling to form an intelligible sentence. He took out a hypodermic needle from his inside pocket filled with a thick, dark green liquid. I feared for the worst.
“Maybe this will teach you to disobey us,” I was right. “Next time, do as we tell you. That’s the only reason I’m doing this.”
I felt a pinch in my neck, and the next thing I knew I was in bed, feeling a pounding in my head. I sat up and everything came rushing back to me: the orb; the boat; the heavy hand; and finally, that recurring dream I’d been having. Then it made sense.
As always, this piece is well-constructed and intriguing. In a strange way, I think one can view parts of it as an almost symbolic rebellion against the absurdity of the assignment. There is an element of meta-fiction in here, whether it is intended or not. Love it.
DeleteIt is always the same exact thing. Prior to falling asleep I know I will have the same nightmare I have been having for the past five days. Who knows…maybe it could be some kind of supernatural message that is being transmitted to me. I just wish I knew a dream interpreter or something; it would make this all so much easier. As of now, I am completely ignorant as to what these recurrent dreams could possibly mean. It starts off with me easing into some kind of passive activity. It could be something simple like drawing or napping before it is time to get ready for work. All of a sudden in my dream, I find myself running for my life. It is a sudden change that causes my heart to beat extremely fast. After this transition, I fear for my life and run for what feels like forever. It is a never ending anxiety that overwhelms me until my body decides to wake me up. In my nightmare, I am being chased by a man that I never get to discover. This is a man that wants something from me but it is impossible for me to comprehend what it is that he wants. I just know that I am wearing what I normally wear daily. I wear a pair of black skinnies, my uggs, and a hoodie. I am empty handed and carry absolutely nothing with me. It is more probable that it is me what he wants. I never stay awake long enough to actually realize why he would want me though. Does he want to harm me? Does he want to tell me something? Why am I so afraid of him in the first place? It’s a given in my nightmare to fear him, but I wonder why. Maybe he wants to help me out and I am only running away from what will help me. That makes somewhat sense. Translating that into real life, a perfect example of this is denial. When someone is in denial, the truth is constantly shining upon him or her; they just choose to remain in disbelief. Maybe I am being chased by something that will serve as a benefit to me and I only run away because, in general, I tend to put aside or try to not associate with things that will help me out. It’s not like I do it on purpose. I just think bad things are good and good things are bad. I always fail to realize what will actually work out for me. This could pertain to friendships, relationships, and any daily decisions I have to make.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, it is this very nightmare that makes it so hard for me to fall asleep. Today is different than most days though. I don’t know why I’m afraid of falling asleep. I am currently feeling like something like what occurs in my nightmares, will occur in real life. What if I fall asleep like I do in my dreams, and then all of a sudden something impacting and horrible occurs to me? Why am I so scared? It’s all strange. Time goes on and I finally feel that sleep will take over me. My eyelids are heavy—my thoughts are heavier though. They have felt invincible for the last hour or so, but finally I fall into a profound sleep. No nightmares, just darkness. Everything feels so perfect right now; it feels like nothing could go wrong. Darkness starts encircling me but I start hearing my heart beat. I turn around. There he is; the man who has been chasing me this whole week is right in front of me. We are finally face to face. He is carrying a side bag and reaches down to it as if he is about to look for something. Is he going to give me something? Wind starts blowing my hair, and fear starts overwhelming me. I see the side of his head and it is bleeding. There is something strange about this man and I cannot risk it. Anything might happen…I was taught to never talk to strangers anyways. He is still searching in his bag and before he looks up, I better get going. I am afraid and confused, it is beating my curiosity. I must go. I start running for my life. I am covered in sweat and my chest is clenching. I do not think I can keep going. Why am I so afraid? This can’t be serious. Maybe this is just another nightmare. Yes, wasn’t I just struggling to fall asleep because I was scared of something happening? Yes. I struggle with everything inside of me to “wake up”. I close my eyes. I’m hearing waves and seagulls crying. Am I at the beach? I open my eyes and all I see is a big door before me. I turn around to see if I see any signs of an ocean or something and all I see is the same man. He looks so much different now. I’m not afraid anymore; I am brave enough to speak with him.
Delete“Who are you and what do you want?” I question.
Delete“I am Death,” He replied.
I don’t know what to say, and I stare blankly at him.
“What is your biggest fear?” Death asks me.
“Drowning at sea.”’
“Your time to die has come. You fell asleep for the last time tonight and you will now be awake forever. Once you open the door, you will feel the most terrible anguish you have yet to feel before entering in a stage of eternal peace.”
I cannot argue against him. Something motivates me to open the door. I open the door and walk through. I see the ocean that I originally thought I was surrounded by. I continue walking and all of a sudden my path comes to a sudden end. I turn around and there is no longer a door behind me and I find myself now currently fighting for my life against the churning ocean waves. I am trying to not swallow any water but it seems like that’s all the ocean wants to get me to do. I’ve never been this afraid, but also I have never felt this exhausted. I let the ocean waves take control; there’s nothing I can do to fight it. I am seeing a glowing blue orb approach me. I’m probably hallucinating. I try to grab on to it and all of a sudden I am being lifted by this orb. I see the door again. This must be Death, granting me eternal peace.
WOW! Awesome. This is so artfully done. It is a nice blend of terror and peace. You let the tale unfold at such a nice pace. I really like this a lot. Great job, Zuly.
DeleteI could see something in the distance as I was struggling to keep myself above the surface of the water while clinging onto this orb. Doing everything I could to tread more and more water, my body gets more and more tired. Struggling, I made it out to the object that was floating in the ocean. As I approached it, it looked like it was a door. That is exactly what it was. I grabbed onto the doorknob and tossed my body onto the ledge along with the blue orb. Extremely hesitant, I was not sure what to do. I thought about it and figured, well I cannot go back anywhere because I am not swimming all the way back to the shore. Finally, I decided to just open the door and see where it took me. I peaked in and saw rays of sunshine, I opened it a bit more and saw miles upon miles of green grass, farmland. Hearing that distinct accent that I have heard for almost my whole life, I knew I was in Ireland. I had gone from being in an ocean, struggling to stay above the water in the pouring rain and scary lightning, to being in the beautiful scenery of my family’s homeland. I could not have been any more excited than I already was. This was a dream come true, I had always wanted to take a vacation here! The first thing that I thought about was going to find out where my family lived. I have only met a few of them before but since I was already here, I figured I would say hello to the entire clan.
ReplyDeleteI began asking around to see if anyone knew someone with the last name Johnson. After a few hours of no luck, someone finally said that their family was very good friends with a Johnson family. I asked where they lived and they directed me to the house on one of the largest farms in the county. As I approached the house, I became nervous and suddenly forgot everything that I was about to say. I paused in my tracks debating whether or not I was going to continue to the house of my relatives. Without even realizing it, I was started on my path again and found myself staring at the Johnson coat of arms knocker. I slowly raised my hand to knock. A middle aged woman answered the door and said, “Can I help you?”
“Actually, yes you can. My name is David Johnson and my father is George. He is your cousin and he always told me about the family that he had here in Ireland,” I answered. Clearly avoiding the part about me being stuck in the middle of an ocean and I walked through a door and somehow ended up here in Ireland. If I tried to feed her that story, she would think my Dads family is nuts!
ReplyDelete“Oh you are George’s son?? Awwh how you have grown in such a handsome young man,” What would be second cousin Anne answered while she pinched my cheeks.
Soon after, she invited me into the house to meet the rest of the Johnsons. I was so overwhelmed by all of the love that was in the room, but believe it or not, I have never felt more at home in my whole life. After all of the introducing was over with my cousin Sean asked, “So David, how did you get here? Why is the rest of your family not with you?”
I had to think quickly on my feet and make something realistic up. Before I could give them an answer, they were already onto a new topic. Some family friends walked through the door and I was saved. As their friends walked through the door, I saw one of the most beautiful girls I have ever set my eyes on. I was frozen still as she came over to me to introduce herself.
“Hey, I’m Callie.” She said.
“Uh, um, uh, hi.” I finally spit out.
She looked at me like I had three heads. Rightly so, considering I could not utter more than four words to her. Every day after that I made it a point to see her at least once. Only see her though, because I am clearly incapable of speaking real words to her. Then one day, a few weeks later, I was about to go see her when I realized that I forgot something upstairs in the guest room I was staying in. I looked all around the room and could not find my favorite hat that I had with me. I looked into the closet that I stored the orb in and saw nothing but the orb. I picked up the glowing ball and as soon as I touched it, I disappeared from Ireland and ended up back on the ledge of the door in the ocean.
ReplyDelete“Are you serious?! I am back here again??” I screamed to the heavens.
I attempted to open the door again, but when I did, all I saw was more water. After I accepted the fact that I could not get back to Ireland, I realized that all of this regret I was feeling for never talking to Callie again, I deserved. I was too afraid to take that chance again and actually talk to her, and I let the opportunity slip through my fingers. Now I have to live with that. Moral of the story: never waste an opportunity. Always take chances and never be afraid of what might happen. Or you will have to sit there wondering what could have happened. After all, sometimes all you need is 30 seconds of insane courage.
This captures the feeling of regret well. I feel really bad for the "David Johnson" in the story. This has a lot of charm and imagination. Just go back and unify the tense. Sometimes you are in the present and to other times you are in the past.
DeleteA loud snapping noise echoed through the room, light now flooding in from the open doorway. They must’ve locked the door to the wall while whoever this was was inside. Damian was blinded at first, closing his eyes tightly as they begged for the solitude of darkness again. He heard footsteps approaching, stopping only a few feet in front him. His eyesight began to return as he looked about the room. It looked completely different from the sewage-ridden basement dungeon he’d imagined himself sitting in. Instead, the walls were pure white and the chains that held him to the floor clear. At a glance, it looked like his prison was infinite, a horrible artificial purgatory. He looked up at his visitor, a young man of about twenty four or twenty five. He had scruff on his face, an eye patch over his left eye, and a huge burn on nearly the entire left side of his face. His hair was dark, dreaded and tied behind his back. He wore the classic armor of the Syndicate, but also had a black cloak around him and a metal staff on his back. He kneeled down to Damian’s level and looked at his chains.
ReplyDelete“Huh…those look pretty tight.”
Damian grunted and glared at the man.
“Don’t bother with that, I’ve been told it’s tough to stare down a man with one eye and a mutilated face. I wouldn’t want to strain you any more than you already have been. “
Damian didn’t divert his gaze. He tried to keep his stern face, but somewhere deep down he knew he was looking at the man with dead eyes.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Isaac, of course. Leader of the Syndicate. You actually believed all of that propaganda portraying me as a ninety year old man? Honestly, what makes you think someone like that can live through the stress of managing a rebellion? I expected more of you, Damian.”
Damian spat blood into Isaac’s face and licked the residue from his lips. Isaac stood slowly, wiped the blood from his face and drove his foot upwards into Damian’s chin. Damian’s head whipped back and the sheer force of the kick sent him upwards, only to be yanked back to the ground by the chains. Damian laid there motionless for a few moments. He was in a great deal of pain, but that wasn’t what kept him down. He knew he was an object now, may as well act like one. Plus he could feel that his jaw was dislocated, which was one of the most unpleasant things he’d ever felt. Isaac picked him up by the tattered shirt they’d thrown on him and without skipping a beat he shoved Damian’s jaw back into place. Damian couldn’t help but let terrible moans of pain out and suffer their echoes. Isaac punched the side of his head and sat in a stool that one of his goons had brought in during the ordeal. He pulled a knife that looked like an old Bowie knife and tossed it around, glaring at Damian with his one eye. Damian’s face was so bloodied he could barely see anymore.
“So, Damian. Why are you here?”
DeleteDamian hung his head down, seeing the pool of blood that was accumulating on the floor. He sighed and slouched over.
“Does it matter anymore? Aren’t I your bargaining chip?”
Isaac crossed his legs and leaned back in the stool. “A man can’t be curious?”
Damian chuckled and shook his head, trying to move his long black hair out of his face.
“You know, they say curiosity killed the cat.”
Isaac stood and turned towards the door, picking the stool up with him as he started to exit. His goons exited first, but Isaac lingered for a few moments. He turned his head sideways, halfway looking at Damian as he spoke.
“It’d be easier for both of us if you cooperate next time. I know we portray ourselves as shining beacons of hope and crusaders for equality and all that jazz,”
He fully turned his back to Damian and shrugged. “But I’m not above dismemberment to get what I want.”
Damian closed his eyes and slouched over, not even giving the energy to mourn the light that was retreating from the room. He was silently and slowly beginning to get back into the captive mindset when the light stopped its retreat briefly. He looked up and saw the door begin to open again and a familiar head appear in the doorway.
“Damian!” Gavin whispered loudly as he snuck into the room, “Damian are you alright?”
Gavin crouched next to Damian and looked at him in a way where Damian didn’t know if it was with disgust, pity or both. Gavin picked Damian’s chin up and held out a bowl of water to him. Damian looked Gavin in the eyes and spit in his face.
I'm really starting to enjoy this. Your characters have such a definitive voice, and the sense of humor you insert in certain places is awesome. This is like Tarantino writing on an even more epic scale. You need to print me all of what you have so far, so I can look at all of it at once. You're rockin', dude.
DeleteHow?
ReplyDeleteThat was all I could think. How was this possible? How is it that I could go to sleep comfortably in my bed with the girl I love and wake up here, in the middle of the ocean, alone, with nothing but my mattress and a glowing blue orb?
It’s taken two days of just floating, nothing but floating, for something to finally happen.
As I sat in the middle of my mattress wondering when something would happen, good or bad, something finally did. The glowing blue orb in my lap began to dim, and at first I thought this was really bad, but eventually I realized it was good, because that meant I could see into it, and what I saw was the explanation for why I was here.
A brought the orb closer to my face so that I could see inside and what I saw was more horrifying than waking up stranded in the middle of the ocean.
“Sarah,” I whispered.
She lifted her head. I wasn’t expecting her to be able to hear me. Her face was tear-stained and her hair was greasy from having not showered. She was gagged and her hands were bound behind her back. She was wearing nothing but a dirty white tank top and underwear. Her ankles were crossed and she was trembling uncontrollably.
Her eyes met mine, and I wasn’t really sure how she could see me, but the look she gave me made my heart drop.
The blue orb began to glow brighter again and Sarah became harder and harder to see. As the image began to fade out I saw someone else walk into the scene, but before I could get a good look at them the orb became too bright.
I shook it with anger. “Sarah!” I shouted. “Sarah where are you!” Tears came to my eyes. “I’ll find you! I promise I’ll find you!” in my rage, without thinking I tossed the orb into the ocean.
At first I was angry at myself but something started to happen. The orb got brighter; brighter than it ever had before. It got so bright that it became hard to look at, and then, it exploded.
I covered my eyes and when I looked up the whole ocean was frozen over. My mattress was still, stuck in the ice. At first I was unsure what to do, but eventually I realized that there was only one option. I wrapped my blanket tightly around me and stepped out onto the ice.
After about six hours of walking, I sat down. I couldn’t move anymore.
I wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or from the lack of eating, but I started to sway. I swayed and swayed until everything was black.
When I woke up I was laying on a cold metal table. A light shone brightly in my face. But there was nothing else around me; everything was black.
“Did you think I’d just let you get away with it?” a voice boomed at me from all directions. There was no one around me, just open space.
“Who’s there?” I yelled back.
There was silence for a moment. “Did you think I was kidding when I said I’d make sure you got what you deserved?”
I froze. I knew exactly who was behind all this. “Where’s Sarah, you bastard!”
“Oh so now the pots calling the kettle black is it?” the voice paused. “Sarah made a poor choice choosing you, you know? She’d never be in this situation if she had just walked away. She had every opportunity to just walk away.”
“What’d you do to her!” I yelled, whipping around in all directions, hoping to see the man I was speaking to.
“Nothing bad.” The voice boomed. “Not yet anyway. I’ve been keeping her in as pristine a state as possible; waiting for you to finally arrive.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“Well my problem isn’t really with her Sam, it’s with you. What would be the point in hurting her if you weren’t here to watch?”
I was starting to lose it. “You leave her alone!” I screamed into the darkness. “Don’t touch her!”
This is really captivating. Very cinematic. I love it when you really get into an assignment. I can literally see everything that is happening. It is very haunting, and you could really use this as a vehicle to write something longer. Great job.
DeleteWalking through the hallway, Joey and Katie made their way out to get lunch. Alexa, sitting in the lunch room, watched them walkout.
ReplyDelete“It’s not fair,” Alexi said to Lisa, her best friend.
“That will be us next year!” Lisa tried to be cheerful, “only a few more months of this horrible food. Alexia simply stayed quiet and ate her grilled cheese.
“How is it possible that neither of them will offer me a ride? We are all going to the same place.” Alexia said as she followed Lisa to her car. “I can’t stand them.”
Lisa always listened to Alexia’s complaints, she wasn’t so easily angered like her friend. She would sometimes remind her that she enjoyed giving her rides. Plus, it was a Friday, that meant that Lisa would be babysitting at the Gaereor’s house, which was right next door to Alexia’s house. Walking in to her house, through the back door, Alexia wasn’t surprised to hear the volume of the T.V. all the way up. She let her bag fall hard on to the kitchen table. Unfortunately for Alexia, Katie’s room was connected to the kitchen by a very thin door. That didn’t matter though, her mom’s rules where no room doors where to be shut if there was a boy in there. So, as Alexia made her afternoon snack she would always hear the couple talking and laughing. Alexia took out the necessary ingredients to make herself a ham sandwich. She placed it on a cutting board she had made for her mom. No sandwich was complete if it wasn’t cut into four pieces, placed on a plate, and surrounded by chips. She put everything away and took out a peach yogurt from the bridge. She was crossing the kitchen to get to the stairs.
“Hey, come here!” Katie called out.
“What do you want?” Alexia replied.
“It’s rude to eat without offering any,” was all she wanted. Peeking into her room she saw Katie and Joey sitting on the futon, watching T.V.
“It’s rude to stay somewhere so long and not pay any rent,” Alexia rolled her eyes and walked out. She headed upstairs to her room.
After ten, Lisa went to Alexia’s house to have a sleepover. The two were almost as inseparable as Katie and Joey. Because it was Christmas time, they were going to wake up early and go shopping together. After spending the whole day together, Lisa had to go visit her grandparents. Exhausted from a long day, Alexia decided to stay home on Saturday night. The following day, she woke up early. Katie sat at the breakfast table with their mom. Alexia joined them, as they ate in silence.
“Are you ladies getting ready for church?” Asked Dan, the girls’ dad.
“Oh, I can’t make it today. I have plans with Joey.” Katie replied.
“That’s the third time this month,” Dan tried to contain his voice.
“I know, but..” Katie had no excuse.
“I’m going, Dad!” Alexia emphasized.
“Thanks, honey, I’m glad one of my daughters has time for God.” He pulled her into an embrace while Alexia slyly glanced over at Katie. She was always the favorite.
Following the church service, Alexia went to do final Christmas shopping with her parents and they ate out together. When they got home, they weren’t surprised to see Katie sitting with Joey in the living room.
“Very busy, I see.” Alexia announced.
Katie rolled her eyes. To her parents she said, “Look at the gingerbread house we made!”
“How old are the two of you?” Dan asked. Feeling embarrassed, Joey stayed quiet.
This is interesting. Are you going to add more? I like the feeling of tension with Katie's character. There's this idea that she is the black sheep of the family and doesn't necessarily attach the same importance to things that the rest of her family does. Pretty cool so far. I'd like to see more.
ReplyDeleteTwo more days. Just two more days and I get to enjoy my last summer break before college. I can’t wait. I know Benjamin, my twin brother, is just as excited as I am. We have all just finished our last final and are waiting to be dismissed. Our school board is ridiculous and thinks that by sitting in the class room we will somehow absorb the information by osmosis. I look across the classroom and I see my brother talking with his friends. That’s when I realize that one of mine just walked into the room and is trying to get my attention.
ReplyDelete“Hey! What’s up?” she asks.
“Nothing much Jane, just waiting for graduation. It so dumb that we have two days of school left. What do they think they are going to teach us in two days, after finals? And what teacher is actually going to assign work?”
“Well you know we only have these days because of that crazy blizzard we had in February that used up all of our snow days, plus some. And I think we all know exactly who is going to assign work.”
“True. Maybe if I bring in the Lion King he will let us watch it. I heard that is his favorite movie.”
Finally the bell rang and we could all go home. Jane walked with me and Benjamin to our car, we usually parked next to each other, and on the way we all decided we were well overdue for a frozen yogurt run. We all knew each other’s usuals by heart so in the end we decided that Ben would go and we would meet him at our favorite book shop on the other side of the mountain. We were all so excited we didn’t even notice that Ben’s back left tire was beginning to deflate.
When Jane and I arrived at the book store we began our favorite book shop ritual, Titles. We would both pick a letter and a number, 1-4, for the other person before we entered the shop. The challenge was finding a book that’s title was the same number of words as the number given and that contained at least one word that started with the letter assigned. Then we would meet back at the front door with our book. Whoever got there first was the winner. And had bragging rights and was owed a free cup of coffee. The book shop was usually empty and the manager was by now used to our silly antics. The only reason the store stayed in business was to supply local college students with cheap college books and the local students with summer reading books. Occasionally someone would stop in to pick up a birthday or Christmas present, but that was rare, at most.
We waited for almost an hour at the book shop. But ben never showed up. We called his phone and then headed over to the frozen yogurt shop to look for him when he did not pick uop. When we arrived there was an elderly couple sitting inside at a table but it was otherwise empty. Then we saw this girl named Anna, she had graduated from our high school the year before, who had just started her first day. We walked over to the counter and said hello. We then asked her if she had seen my brother.
ReplyDelete“No” she responded. It’s been empty all day aside from those two” referring to the older couple,” and a young family who just left. Why do you ask?
I explained to her that he was supposed to meet us at the library over an hour ago and eh was stopping here to get us all frozen yogurt. She repeated that he had not been around, and wished us luck in finding him.
“I will let him know you stopped by if I see him,” she called out to us as we left.
We thanked her and decided to check out his favorite coffee shop down the street, perhaps he had stopped in there.
When we arrived we had to wait in a long line to be able to speak with one of the workers. We did not know the barista so we had to give a brief description of what my brother looks like. He said that my brother had been in, but he had run off after acting very strangely. We asked him what he meant and he told us that Ben had mumbled random words before falling over. A customer tried to help him up but Ben shoved him away and ran off. The police were called and they realized that he had left his car in the parking lot, not parked in an actual space, just left running, blocking two other cars from getting out.
Jane and I were shocked. This did not sound like Ben at all. We thanked the man and ran out to catch the tow truck before he towed the car. We explained to him the situation and he let us take the car, but we could tell he was uncertain as to whether we were telling the truth or not. After the tow truck left Jane took her own car home and I took mine down to the station. My parents were out of town so I am sure the police were looking for someone to notify. Jane would bring her father back to the station with her just in case there were any problems. She would drop her mother off at my house just in case Ben returned home, though we were doubtful; it was a long walk from here. Once Jane left I hopped into Ben’s car and started to drive and immediately realized something was wrong. The car had a flat. Wow ben, you are in a lot of trouble aren’t you, I thought. I went around to look at it and I thought I saw something, reflecting in the hubcap. I did see something reflecting in the hubcap, it was a face, and it seemed to say, no, you are the one who is in trouble. It was chasing me.
A sense of trouble was palpable before Ben even laid eyes on it. When he did, all he could see was the green sea around him. The sun was rising but the water was still freezing cold. He was drowning. It was horrible. He was dying and there was no sign of relief in sight. After a few minutes he body began to stiffen from the cold and he could no longer tread water. The water slowly engulfed his body until he was completely submerged. His last thought was of fear. Not fear that he was about to die, but that the face that was chasing him wouldn’t die with him.
ReplyDelete“Aaggh!” was moaned by Jack.
“Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths.” Jack kept repeating in his mind.
“Honey, is everything okay?” Jessie asked her husband Jack.
“Yeah, I am alright it was the same dream again.” Jack stated.
“The one where the killer is chasing you?” Jessie questioned.
“Yes, the one where I never get away or run fast enough. He always manages to catch up.” Jack mumbled. But Jessie was already asleep; as if she was already tired of waking up every night to the same story. Therefore Jack also fell asleep once again. A couple hours later Jack woke up and took his daily jog out to the beach. While he was at the beach he noticed a blue ball that glows and there were people tossing it around in aw of the ball. But then the owner of the ball took it back and chained it to his beach door house. However Jacks curiosity killed him; he walked to the ball and was about to grab it when a man opened the door.
“What are you doing?” asked the mysterious man.
“Ummm...Uhhh… I just wanted to see the ball.” Jack said in panic.
“Well first of all it is not a ball it is an orb I found in a cave. It is highly radioactive… well was there was stories that before the glowing orb killed many people that came in contact with it in some weird cave.” The man explained to Jack.
“So why do you have that orb with you then?” Jack questioned.
“I have it because now it brings me safety. No one can be harmed in its presence.” The man Proclaimed.
“Ah huh. Thanks for the facts…” Jack said and reached his hand out to the man waiting for a name. But the man just slammed the door in his face. Jack began to jog again away from the man’s house. Moments later he arrived to his house and everything seemed as if he had already been their. But of course it is his house he thought but it was stranger than that it felt like deja vu.
“Honey! Are you here?” Jack yelled. There was no answer so Jack starts to walk around. When all of a sudden a man in a mask turned the corner with a knife in his hand. Jack was in shock he stood still for a while until he used all his power to run out the house. However, the time elapsed it was night time and he was running to the beach when it hit him it was his dream in real life. A lot was going through his mind what would happen in his dream at the end. If he would die? When in the beach it was pitch black and the moon was covered he saw one glow and that was the orb. Therefore he remembered that the man said no one could get hurt while around the orb. Jack got to the door with the orb and the man magically disappeared and he could now remember his dream why he would always go to the beach in his dream. He was still in panic so he fell asleep at the beach for safeties sake.
The average person can bear to touch water that is roughly around 40- 30 degrees Fahrenheit, but not without a cost. You may still be alive but not for long, the human body was not made to stand such coldness in fact the body will begin to shut down if left in that cold of water to try to save itself. Therefore floating in water that is too cold for drinking it just might be too cold for your own good. Facts from the discovery channel kept filling my mind as I started to wake up from a deep sleep that my body needed. They often say that your instincts will make your brain aware of your surroundings before your body has a chance to catch up. I never believed that until now, when I could feel the freezing water all around me. Drastically changing my temperature that I was so accustomed to. Without even opening my eyes I could feel the chills and goose bumps that started to consume my arms and neck, making my teeth chatter ever so slightly. A bright light shines through my closed eyes, daring to try to sneak a peek at the iris in which my pupil beholds. I slowly open my eyes letting all the light shine through trying to identify the source in which this beaming light is coming from. Looking all around I found the radiation that had been bouncing off onto my eyes, it was the moon. The moon that never left my side, never went dull; it was always outside my window and will always be. Guiding my way through the darkness in which my life so often was in. My night light in the sky, my reassurance in the midnight. it made me forget that I was in the middle of ocean, barely treading water, kicking my long legs at a fast pace not wanting to sink down in the deep blue sea. Terrified of drowning on the waters that surround my body. Thinking of how alone I am, wondering if there is anyone out there, or if they even know I’m out here. Stranded with little hope, not knowing if I will see tomorrow’s moon. The real thing that scares me, my real fear is that no one will ever find me. It will be too late. My corpse will be floating in the water, displaying a sign of all hope lost.
ReplyDelete